An embarrassing part of healing from trauma can involve the involuntary loss of control of bodily functions. This generally happens during a flashback or, in the case of a child with dissociative identity disorder (DID), when a particular alter part is triggered.

For example, let’s say the abused child was tortured to the point that he eventually vomited. When he experiences a flashback of that particular event, his body might react the same way that it did when he first experienced the abuse. So, as he recovers the memory through a flashback, he might get a very strong urge to vomit.

The same thing can happen with bladder or bowel control. If the abused child was terrorized to the point of wetting her pants, then a flashback of that event can cause her to wet her pants again. This is true even into adulthood. If a seventy-year-old child abuse survivor was only 8 when abused, then she is going to revert back to feeling like she is 8 when experiencing the flashback.

Losing control of bodily functions is distressing for the abused child, particularly as the child moves into his teen years. He does not want people to think he is a “baby” who cannot hold his bladder. Experiencing a loss of bodily function can fuel the abused child’s shame, and he might be too embarrassed to tell you that he is struggling with this issue.

If you suspect that your abused child is struggling with losing control over bodily functions, talk to your child about it. Let him know that this is a normal aftereffect of child abuse, especially if the child is working through a memory or flashback of severe abuse. Explain to the child that his body holds memories of the trauma, and the body is simply releasing its memories. Also, tell the child that, as he heals from the memories, this issue will very likely fix itself.

Of course, if you suspect that there is a physical cause for the loss of control, be sure to explore that avenue as well. However, if the child is only having this problem during flashbacks, then the flashbacks and trauma are very likely the culprit.

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Losing Control of Bodily Functions during Flashbacks

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