Adoption Under One Roof

 Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website. The manuscript will be presented in chapters twice a week – Monday and Friday. © 2006 All rights reserved - Marjorie Shaw

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: “Blood” Ties

“Earl Lumley was my husband and my married name. I used it on The Adoption Decree to keep you legitimate,” she told me during our next phone conversation.

“What is your maiden name and my father’s name?” I asked.

If she was having a problem with relationships, I was totally confused.

“My best friend in the apartment complex is an ex-prostitute,” she informed me, but would tell me nothing about my grandparents or my names.

I still thought of myself as English like Mother, and Baby Girl Lumley was also English. I had no sense of history or myself at all. It was she who held all the cards and continued to keep me in the dark about my identity.

The result of being a graft on someone else’s family tree left me feeling cut off, like an impersonator, with no real history of my own. I had been brainwashed to be an imposter for the rest of my life and was at everyone’s mercy. They stole my name, my power and hijacked my brain. The system was evil and had failed me. Everyone but Jerry had failed me. My life made no sense until now.

Dorothy and I wrote and talked on the phone. It was very difficult for me because she was afraid someone might be listening to us on her party line It was an emotional strain having another mother who was withholding the truth from me. I managed to juggle the two rather well and to hold my family together. Another Christmas arrived and I wondered what Dorothy’s Christmas was like. She never told me much about her life. Mother sent the usual check.

“What did you buy with the money?” Mother asked me over the phone.

“I bought ice skates for the boys and a nice pair for myself,” I boldly stated finally standing up to her.

“Why in the world did you buy ice skates?” Mother asked disapprovingly.

“I want to ice skate on the local pond with the boys because we love to ice skate,” letting her know that I participated in the sports with my sons that they loved to do!

“Did you know I have a soprano coloratura voice?” I informed her.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, I have been taking voice lessons with an opera teacher and she says if I keep it up I will be singing at the Metropolitan Opera one day. She also told me I looked like I had the breeding of an aristocrat,” poured out of my mouth.

 Image Credit: flickr