If your adopted child was abused before he joined your home, he might experience emotional flashbacks. An emotional flashback is a seemingly overreaction to something that is happening today, but it is really about the child's reaction to a trauma that he has not yet healed.

For example, your child might be obsessed with being on time. If she is only one minute late to an event, she might become physical ill and irritable. Or your child might become a pain to be around as Christmas or his birthday nears, no matter how hard you try to make that special occasion a pleasant experience.

Here is how an emotional flashback happens. Let's say that your child was beaten on Christmas morning in his former home. His brain has now made a connection between Christmas and pain. As Christmas rolls around, any mention of Christmas triggers the emotions that he has repressed from that beating. Because he is being flooded by feelings of terror and helplessness, he reacts to those feelings, becoming irritable and emotional. Each time you tell him to be happy about Christmas, he feels betrayed because why would he feel happy about being beaten?

Emotional flashbacks are not only triggered by big holidays. Any event that triggers the memories and emotions from a traumatic experience can cause an emotional flashback. The child very likely is not even aware of what is happening, only that she feels helpless.

If you notice your child overreacting to a seemingly harmless event (this includes self-injuring or using another coping tool), raise your antenna. If this happens more than once (such as becoming very upset at being one minute late repeatedly), then consider the possibility that your child is experiencing an emotional flashback.

The only way to heal emotional flashbacks is to heal the underlying pain. Your child is going to need your assistance in doing this. First, talk with your child about his overreaction. Ask him what he is feeling when the stimulus happens. He might need your help in attaching words to his emotions because traumatized children are frequently out of touch with labeling emotions.

Next, talk about what might have happened in the child's past to trigger the emotional reaction. The child might be able to identify the cause immediately, or the child might have repressed the memory.

It is possible that asking these questions could trigger a flashback. If it does, that is a good thing because remembering the trauma is a part of healing. If your child does begin having flashbacks, be sure to schedule an appointment with a qualified child psychologist so your child will have a professional to help him work through his memories.

Once your child knows why he is reacting the way that he is, he will then have the power to soothe himself. You can help him to develop positive ways to self-soothe when he feels an emotional flashback coming.

Related topic:

Having an Emotional Flashback

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt