I have written several times over the past few months about the stress of parenting an adopted child with special needs. My adopted child has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as well as across-the-board learning disabilities. The combination has made third grade just oodles of fun. Right now, dealing with my special needs adopted child’s many issues is the largest stressor in my life.

We have now reached the halfway point of third grade, and things are not looking good. I spend an hour on homework with him each day, and I have to walk him through every single step because of his learning disabilities. He cannot read long passages or process multi-step questions. He also reads by the word, not the phrase, and frequently “forgets” what he read by the time he gets to the end of the paragraph.

To add even more “fun” to the mix, his ADHD medication wears off at 3:30, so I don’t have an hour after school to get his homework completed while he is still medicated. (If I give him another dose to get through homework, he won’t eat or sleep.) If he has an appointment right after school, or if I have to go to yet another individualized education plan (IEP) meeting, then there really is no point in doing his homework because he cannot focus.

On top of this, we have been paying a tutor to work with him on Saturdays, and she also gives him homework. In fairness, it only takes five minutes to complete her homework, but that is even more work that needs to be completed before his medication wears off.

I am overwhelmed and worn out. I thought all of this effort would be worth it when he got his report card, but all of these efforts are making no difference, which is disheartening to say the least. His end-of-grade benchmark results showed no improvement in his reading scores, despite changing him to an Extend-2 version of the test (modified with shorter passes and only three answer choices instead of four), and he showed a significant drop in his math scores. After the first quarter of school, he was at least passing math: now he is below grade level.

My adopted child is bright, but his learning disabilities, combined with his ADHD, make it difficult for him to grasp new concepts in a mainstream setting. This is why hub and I are looking into a private school that specializes in children with ADHD and learning disabilities. We have had to reschedule our appointment twice thanks to the snowstorms that keep moving up the East Coast. We have moved our appointment to Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed! My adopted child really needs a setting that will make him successful, and I really need a break from all of the extra work!

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt