Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website in segments on Mondays and Fridays. © 2006 All rights reserved

Chapter Twenty- Eight - The Final Chapter - “A Family Found” (continued from here)

Judy forwarded another email she received from the wife of my second cousin in LaCrosse.

Hi Everyone,

I hope I have these email addresses correct. (I think I should keep them outside the computer, because I tend to lose what might be more current.) We did not know that Bob was in the hospital and would continue to live on 7th floor until his death. The last we talked to him was in June. (We always sent him the Cubs baseball schedule and then he called to say, "Thanks". His voice sounded strong, as it always was rather booming. We talked quite a while and he turned down my offer to bring him some meals. He used to go to the Arterial Bar/Restaurant to buy his "tickets" for football and baseball. He was always there on a Wed. a.m. and enjoyed visiting with his cronies. He would leave with a quart jar of home made soup. (The reason I know this is that an investment club that I was in met at 8:00 a.m. once a month on a Wed.} After I resigned from the club, we only kept in touch with an occasional call to him or from Rick. In June when we talked, he said that the owner of the restaurant brought soup to him at home (Charles St.). He felt he was well watched over by neighbors, St. James priests, and the kind minister down the street.

His doctor felt he could no longer be at home and even though he hated to leave the house he was born in, he knew he had to. The 7th floor at St. Francis hospital is a small nursing home. Eleanor had died on that floor, as had his good friend, Bishop John Paul. We knew nothing about this until we read his obituary on the 18th. Father Scheckel and Bishop Listeki celebrated the Mass. The only visitation was at 10:00 am, an hour before the funeral Mass. I really expected more people there, but he had outlived most all of his railroad friends. There were neighbors, hospital representatives, a lawyer or two from the law office that he used, and few relatives. We were so happy to see Jim's three (my half siblings) and they brought Dorothy (my father’s wife). They were called on Thurs., so scrambled for their flights. Mark (my half-brother) is divorced and lives in Texas with his young daughter. Glen (my half-brother) came from Las Vegas, NV where he resides with wife and two children. Ann (my half-sister) lives in PA and also made it. Dorothy lives in her home in La Crosse about ten months of the year. (Unlisted phone number, plus I never run into her. She is 82...about 14 years younger than Jim was.) Eleanor had two nieces who were included in his obit as "his nieces too". They are very lovely women and resembled Eleanor some. It would have meant a lot to Bob that they were there.

Anyway, Father Scheckel's homily was wonderful. He stuck pretty much to his love of the Mass, his Christian ways, his generosity at the hospital, to the Humane Society, to people down on their luck etc. Much was mentioned about his beloved Eleanor and his love for railroading. (A train whistled along with the tolling of the church bells as his casket was lifted in to the hearse. At the graveside another train rumbled by so the priest had to stop and wait before continuing the blessing. He also thanked Blaschke funeral home for arranging the trains. By that time everyone had lightened up and was smiling in accord.)

They had a lunch afterward and all in church were invited, but only family (including us), priest, and pall bearers came. After that Dorothy (my father’s wife) went home and her "kids" (my two half-brothers, Mark, Glen and sister Ann) came over to see our girls. Jim's kids (my half brothers and sister) stayed until 7:00 pm when they left to get Dorothy (their mother and my father’s wife) for dinner at Schmidtty's. They were very enjoyable, including Mark's daughter who came too. You'd never think they had so much money!! They aren't snooty at all.

When Eleanor died eight years ago, Bob was too distraught and didn't know or care what was expected of him. I feel he would like to have had a private funeral with just he and a priest present. Only Mark (my half-brother) was able to make it that time. It was 30 below and I remember that Ann (my half-sister) was in Florida and couldn't get here because of the weather. Bob hardly noticed that Mark was here and didn't want a visitation. I remember that after the Mass people were waiting outdoors by the hearse to greet him. I know he was surprised and pleased. That time Mark came right home with us. We picked up Chinese and started up the fireplace. He was so cold; had come with only the suit jacket he was wearing. Bob missed and mourned her every day.

I know this letter is long, but I hope it answers any questions you may have. Once I read this I knew that it was Uncle Bob’s death that made me so sad and marveled at my clairvoyance as if my subconscious knew my uncle Bob Franke was gone. I thought it no coincidence and ironic that I was ending my story, by putting the article about him and the picture of the steam engine 4000 he drove that stands in Copeland Park, the day he died.

An email arrived from Connie’s mother-in-law.

“Hey, don't think you are the lone ranger. I know things about our families that would make a good book. So glad to have you in the family."

About a week later an email from Judy inviting me to the Franke family tree on Geni.com arrived for me in my inbox. I joined and now have over 170 relatives on my blood tree. Judy and I were talking and wondering why my siblings didn’t want to meet me. She gave me D’s email address in hopes that she might help me with some answers.

2010 email to me from my second cousin.

Anyway, M, I am happy that you have shared your feelings, family (in photos) etc. and will continue this later. Our phone number is &*&((*(&(*&&. If your half brother and sister know about you, they did not mention it when they came here after Bob's funeral in Sept. Glen is very talkative and I believe his wife in interested in genealogy also. Mark is quiet, but enjoyable to talk to (if Glen gives him a chance). We have seen the most of Ann..usually at a little restaurant on Fri. nights when she would go there with her parents or just Jim alone. More later. I'm sure you are a fine person and I understand your urgency. As close as we are (were) to the Frankes on Charles St., they were pretty private people. Bob more-so than Jim. Jim's wife, Dorothy has an unlisted number and stopped all relations with Bob and Eleanor after Jim died. I know for a fact that it hurt Eleanor and Bob immensely. Eleanor mentioned it to me often...she just didn't know why but my guess is it was because of you. By the way, she was another Nan was loved by all who knew her. Sincerely, D

I called my second cousin and she began to tell me everything.

Image Credit: photo submitted by Marjorie Shaw