If you are parenting a traumatized adopted child, you might notice that he becomes agitated if he returns to the city in which he suffered trauma. This happens to me every time I return to my hometown. For about a week before the trip, I struggle with insomnia, nightmares, anxiety, and irritability. To put it more colloquially, I start “wigging out.”

The only reason I put myself through this is that my grandmother, who lives in my hometown, is very old and unlikely to be around much longer. Once she passes away, I doubt that I will ever return to that city. It is just too hard for me, even after years of healing from the child abuse.

Ideally, a traumatized child should be adopted into a home that is far away from where the trauma occurred. Moving to another state is ideal. When I cross the state line to return home from a visit, I can feel my body release over a week’s worth of tension. Seeing that state line makes me feel safe.

The location that triggers a traumatized adopted child does not have to be a specific place, such as the city where the trauma happened. The trigger can also be a similar setup that reminds the child of prior trauma.

For example, I experienced a lot of abuse in basements. For this reason, I am very uncomfortable in any basement, even in the city where I live now, which is far away from where the abuse happened. Whenever a friend gives me a tour of a new house and takes me down the stairs to the basement, I get lightheaded (dissociate) and feel a strong wave of anxiety. I try to remove myself from the situation as soon as possible.

If you notice that your traumatized adopted child get irritable whenever he is in a particular place, ask him if there are any triggers for him in that place. There is no reason to put a traumatized adopted child through having to be triggered by places that remind him of the abuse if this is avoidable.

Photo credit: JulieC