My 15-year-old daughter occasionally takes one of my bras and sometimes underwear. But, during the last month or so, she has upped the ante. Perhaps because it really upsets me, she has decided to push my buttons. First, she took the only new bra I had purchased for myself in years. Oh, she thought it was hers. Probably because all of her bras have her name written inside to prevent her from taking mine, but this one did not, confusing I am sure. Next, I found a pair of my underwear, blood stained along the inner legs and rear. Um, I had a hysterectomy 14 years ago, and only one person living in our home currently has a period, her. She actually tried to argue with me, denying that she had worn them. Then, I found my grandmamma undies.

I have a few really large pairs of white cotton underwear that my hubby calls grandmamma undies. They are quite comfortable to wear to sleep in, but who else would want to wear them. They are large on me and I weigh 50 pounds more than my 15 year old, so picture her in them.

I found them stuffed in the bottom of the bathroom closet, also covered in bloodstains along the inner leg and rear. Oh, she thought they were hers, really? They had to have hung quite a ways off from her little butt. I know freaking out only tends to perpetuate or increase negative behaviors, but this is taking sharing too far.

During 15 years of fostering children for the state of Michigan, we have helped to parent nearly 100 children. We adopted a daughter who came to us as an almost four year old who is now 15, who has FASD. When she came to us, her diagnosis was cognitively impaired also known as mild mental retardation. Like so many hopeful adoptive parents, we thought it didn’t matter. We thought that with our love and every special service available she could overcome her FAS. In some ways, she has. Today she has an average IQ in the low 90s, and test in the average range for achievement when tests are given verbally. However, life still is not easy for her, or for those of us who live with her. She frequently misunderstands written words making schoolwork 3 to 4 grades lower than her age warrants, a struggle despite an average IQ. She also struggles with writing understandable sentences frequently leaving out words and using incorrect forms of verbs and nouns. We have tried numerous countermeasures over the years; however, she rarely complies with them for more than a day or two, even when they really help her succeed. It is not my intent to make fun of children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome by this blog. However, sharing experiences helps us keep parenting our FASD children in perspective. Maintaining a lighthearted attitude towards the countless mistakes makes life better for the entire family.

Photo Credit: derfel_ie

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