Adoption Under One Roof

Anyone who believes that all adoptive parents only think about themselves and do not care about adoption scams needs to pick up the June 22 issue of People magazine. There is a pretty incredible story beginning on page 92.

Mike Nyberg and his then-wife adopted a four-year-old girl from Samoa. The adoption agency had told the couple that “the girl had been abandoned by her destitute parents in Samoa and left in an orphanage.” The child wept and kept saying, “Tupu,” which Mike later learned meant “mother.”

Mike and his wife were horrified to learn that their adopted daughter had been happily living with her parents and seven brothers and sisters “until the night a stranger took her away.” The couple asked a missionary friend to look into the matter. Sadly, the friend confirmed the story.

The couple adopted through the Focus on Children adoption agency. According to the article, the adoption agency “falsely represented to Samoan parents that their children would go on an extended study-abroad program—then put those children up for adoption.” Yikes!

Despite the fact that the Nybergs loved their adoptive daughter and had paid the adoption agency $13,000 to facilitate the adoption, they could not keep the child from her birth family. They contacted the authorities, which contributed toward the investigation of the adoption agency’s practices. They then arranged a meeting with the birth family. The families agreed that the child should live with her birth family. Saying goodbye was heart-wrenching for both the Nybergs and the child. The families continue to stay in touch.

The article includes a second, shorter story about Patti Sawyer, who also adopted a four-year-old girl from Samoa. The adoption agency told her that the child had been “abandoned in a public bathroom [and] that she had no relative whatsoever.” When Patti learned two years later that her daughter had been taken from her mother, her reaction was very human:

Patti found herself torn. “How do you take a child away from her mother?” says Patti. But she wasn’t prepared to give Jayden back.

Patti arranged for the families to begin monthly phone calls, which put Jayden back in touch with both her mother and father. Patti is now trying to raise the funds to take Jayden to Samoa.

One thing people often forget is that it is not always easy to do the right thing. In addition to the broken hearts, these adoptive parents have also emptied their bank accounts. The article said that Patti Sawyer is “scraping up funds” to take her daughter back to Samoa, which implies that she does not have a lot of money lying around to make things right. It is unlikely that the birth family has much money, either, and plane tickets back to Samoa are not cheap.

The entire situation is horrifying to me. With so many children waiting for homes, I am appalled that an adoption agency would steal children from their families like this. That being said, I am even more impressed with the strength it must have taken the Nybergs to do the right thing.

Related Topics:

• Verdict in Focus on Children case ... big woop
• Man Who Tricked Parents Into Adoptions Sentenced to Probation

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt