A reader of ours wants a response to:

I don’t like my adoption agency.”

Having used an adoption agency to adopt my daughter, I know just how important it is to have a pleasant, supportive and working relationship with your agency. Once you have signed on, you will have had to pay a non-refundable fee, and if you are fairly far along in the adoption, you may have already paid the agency a lot of money that will not be returned to you if you decide to change agencies. You don’t want to lose the time or money you have already put into the agency unless it is absolutely necessary.

So before you start hunting around for a new agency ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I just need a different co-coordinator or social worker in the agency rather than a new agency? It is not uncommon to switch to someone else who fits your needs better; I did it.

2. Is it a good agency but just not particularly warm and supportive? Talk to the director – that can help. Look for support among fellow prospective adopting parents or online and local adoption support groups.

3. Are you losing patience and feel that your agency isn’t finding you a match or referral fast enough? Check that you are being realistic. If this is an intercountry adoption, check the average wait times at other agencies and remember that they are just approximations. If it is a domestic adoption, maybe you need to broaden your search.

4. Do you feel that your agency is dishonest? You can contact the Hague Complaint Registry if this is an intercountry adoption. They also have a list of all the agencies that have received accreditation to process adoptions. This website has a wealth of information for adoptive parents. If it is a domestic adoption handled through an agency that handles only domestic adoptions, you can contact the Better Business Bureau.

5. Tactfully try to find out if other people using the agency are as unhappy as you and why.

Adoption is an emotional time during which we wear our hearts on our sleeves for months, sometimes years until the adoption is completed. It is likely that at some point you will feel impatient or angry towards you agency; they are an easy target for our frustrations.

Image Credit: cj benoiton