Adoption Under One Roof

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a big deal, right? You will probably be surprised to learn that many people who have been diagnosed with PTSD have a very difficult time accepting this about themselves. I truly did not even believe that I had PTSD because I believed that my abuse “wasn’t that bad” and that others had it worse than I did.

I remember the day my therapist told me that I had a diagnosis of PTSD. I didn’t understand why he had “PTSD” written at the top of a white board with a bunch of familiar symptoms listed below it. Yes, I could relate to those symptoms, but I didn’t have something that serious, did I? Incredulously, I asked him if he really believed that I had PTSD. I remember his understated head nod in response. I was floored!

Why do many people with PTSD resist accepting the gravity of their diagnosis? It all ties into the survival instinct. No abused child can risk falling into despair, so abused children find ways to keep on going while living in a hopeless situation. One way they do this is by minimizing their experience. If the abuse “isn’t that bad,” then they can continue to endure. If they accept the reality – that they are completely helpless to stop the abuse from happening – then they lose the will to keep on fighting to survive.

My therapist was not typically big on assigning labels, but I needed to appreciate this label about myself. I suffered from a permanent disorder that I could learn how to manage but that would likely never be cured. I was constantly beating myself up for my reactions to triggers that were symptoms of the PTSD. Until I could accept the gravity of my diagnosis, I could not begin to manage it.

Until your traumatized foster or adopted child accepts the gravity of the PTSD, he is likely to feel like he is simply “crazy.” For years, I truly believed that I was just “f@#$ed in the head.” My symptoms never made sense until I understood that the label of PTSD applied to me. I do not use the label to limit myself: instead, I use it to understand myself. I have even reached a place of being able to recognize when I have been triggered. Rather than react, I can step back, acknowledge that I am having a “normal” PTSD symptom, and then deal with it accordingly. This gives me the power to “treat” being triggered with healthier tools than self-injury or binge eating.

If you are parenting a child with a diagnosis of PTSD, help your child use the label to her advantage. People with PTSD can achieve just about anything they set their minds to, so they don’t have to limit themselves with the label. However, they do need to recognize that their reactions are a normal part of the disorder and then learn how to manage them.

Photo credit: JulieC