Adoption Under One Roof

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

Continued from here…

Talk about a plan changing moment! I had not expected to get to see Joe again until after he turned 18, and there were no guarantees even at that point. This was a change that not only thrilled me, but frightened me as well. Would he question my decision? Would he like who I had become? What type of questions would he ask? I decided to embrace the change and go for it.

That weekend was one of the most memorable times of my life. It forever changed the course of all of our relationships. And I don't mean just mine and Joe's and his parents. I mean my parents, my Grandmother, my sisters, my children. The "plan" was completely gone now. We were moving forward on a blank slate. But what we found was that life was much easier, happier, and more filled with surprises when you stopped the planning and started to just follow your heart one day at a time.

On the day I walked out of the hospital, empty handed and broken hearted, I never in a million years would have guessed that I would be at my son's high school graduation. But I was. I never would have believed I would be with him on his 21st birthday when he was able to become an owner in a restaurant and fulfill his dream. But I was. I never would have even hoped to be standing by his side and see him marry the love of his life. But I know I will be this fall.

Plans are for fools. The smart ones are the people who notice that life around them is constantly changing, and decide to change themselves. It's about being open to new opportunities and relationships, learning from each one you have, and deciding to always grow, always become more.

Reprinted with permission from the "KIDSAKE Newsletter," an ezine featuring information for anyone touched by adoption. Subscribe here.