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Home Blogs AngelaW's blog

Single Parent - Adopting Second Child

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Submitted by AngelaW on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 12:32
  • Adopting Second Child
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girl in tiger hat pointing at piranhas

I am a single woman and adopted my darling daughter Natasha from Ukraine in 2000. Recently I was talking to my mom on why I want a second child as a single parent. I actually started the conversation by asking my mother why she wanted three children.

 

Prior to having this conversation I assumed my brothers and I were all planned and wanted. Oops…. bad assumption

 

I don’t regret the conversation. It was a fascinating window on motherhood in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.

 

My great-grandmother was married at 15 years of age. My grandmother was married at 17 years of age. My mother was married at 19 years of age. And here I sit at 40 years of age.

 

I have never married and never felt the societal pressure to marry and have babies. I don’t feel a religious call to be fruitful and multiply. I didn’t feel incomplete without children. I don’t feel called to see a mini-me, so I haven’t tried to get pregnant. My family name doesn’t have to continue. I don’t need a playmate for my first child.

 

Anyway…. Out of the conversation came my list of reasons to parent a second child

  1. Because I want to parent a second child. I really want to do it again. Parenting and helping my darling heal was so hard. But it was so worth it.
  2. Natasha is and will continue to make the world a better place. She has a caring heart and loving hands. I want to help another child heal and share their gifts with the world. 
  3. I would love for Natasha to have a sibling relationship.
  4. Look at the picture above. That is my darling Natasha in a tiger hat at the zoo. We are looking at piranhas. I see the world differently because of this child. And I fully expect my second child to give me a different perspective on the world. I want this.

Over the next couple months I am going to research my various adoption options. I will share my thought process. And hopefully I will be able to make a decision.

 

Here are some other folks’ reasons on why they are parents.

Why Have Kids?
How many children should you have?

 

I have a twisted sense of humor so I am including the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement’s (VHEMT) list of reasons not to breed. Look for the "Why Breed?" table.

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Anonymous's picture

What wonderful reasons to

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 12:54.

What wonderful reasons to choose to have a second child. Good luck on your journey!
Lisa S.

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JulieC's picture

Ohh I'm excited!

Submitted by JulieC on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 15:22.

I am so excited for you! I hope that you write about every second of the process and every thought you have along the way!

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John's picture

Wild and wooly wackos

Submitted by John on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 20:12.

What a bunch of far out people haters. VHEMT makes a stong case for not dragging down the gene pool, if we are talking about their genes. The world stinks and so eliminate humans? Wow. There are countries in Europe, particularly eastern Europe that have a serious problem with depoplulation. That is a large problem, once the average person gets to 'me, me, me' and finds out that most of his countrymen are now thinking the same, it may not be reversable. It takes 2.1 babies per couple just to stay even. Children are not evil.

Congratulations on deciding to do it again. Each one is different. Family can have some strange reactions when they find out. The part about kids not always being planned is a hoot. Years ago, we found some of my grandparents records. My dad was an amazing person, he was appearently born after just 4 months, the time the grandparents got married, out of state, and his birth. There was no hanky panky in that era. My grandfather was very straight laced and hollier than thou. Virtue after fun? John

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AngelaW's picture

VHEMT - Weirdos

Submitted by AngelaW on Tue, 03/04/2008 - 23:36.

I was looking for other people's blogs on why they wanted to parent a second child when I found the VHEMT web site. At first my reaction was similar to yours, but then it struck me as funny. Mainly because I have gotten worse reactions.

After I announced my intentions to adopt the first time.... I had a family member privately approach me and asked if I understood that I could buy sperm. I could have a real baby which would be better.

Oh my God... I never in a million years thought that I would discuss the merits of purchasing sperm with this older relative.

AngelaW

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. E.M. Forster

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cn22Alexa's picture

Re

Submitted by cn22Alexa on Mon, 02/01/2010 - 06:42.

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Helen29Sy's picture

Re

Submitted by Helen29Sy on Sun, 02/14/2010 - 23:44.

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Helen29Sy's picture

Re

Submitted by Helen29Sy on Tue, 02/16/2010 - 12:19.

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ox23Jeniffer's picture

Re

Submitted by ox23Jeniffer on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 05:31.

To be successful means to reach the high academic grade

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