Traumatized Children and Bedtime Sabotage

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Thu, 05/21/2009 - 20:09

What is your traumatized adopted child doing after you have gone to bed? You tucked your child into bed, said your goodnights, and expected sweet dreams to follow. The next morning you awake to a mess, cut up clothing, disassembled electronics, or worse. How could this be happening? What is causing this behavior? Is it your parenting techniques?

If you adopted a child from the foster care system or a child from an orphanage then your child suffered some forms of early trauma. Remember, separation from loved ones is a traumatic experience for a child and you know your child suffered from that, and probably much worse. What happened to your child before joining your family obviously was not your fault. Unfortunately, adoption will not magically cure your child’s early trauma either.

 

We have a child who came to live with us at the age of seven and is almost 12, who occasionally cuts and disassembles things at night. We have found screwdrivers under her pillows along with assorted video game parts, watch parts, and loose screws. She has hidden scissors under her pillow and cut up her winter coat, other clothing, and her pillows. If you ask her about it the next day, she does not know why she did it. She is not malicious or belligerent. She is usually quite caring, and she is very bright, although she struggles with ADD.

 

Another child who came to us at seven occasionally painted feces on bathroom walls at night, pooped in her underwear and saved it, and killed animals. She is also intelligent, and suffers from ADD as well as other disorders.

 

Both daughters’ behaviors stem from whatever happened to them before coming home. That knowledge does make it easier to deal with the issues. It is not personal, nor is the behavior directed at us. It sucks that we must suffer the aftermath of the trauma that we did not inflict, but it is a fact of parenting a traumatized child.

 

 

 


How to Videos & Articles: eHow.com

John's picture

Outflow from the past

Submitted by John on Thu, 05/21/2009 - 23:18.

Yes it sucks that we get to have the adverse behaviours for past trauma. My youngest, when he loses it, tends to get physical. It is obviously from past events, but getting wacked is getting wacked.

Last night he fell asleep early with out getting ready for bed, doing required physical therapy, or taking his meds. I attempted to wake him twice. Very agressive and I left. Today I purchased an portable boat horn, the kind with a small air tank attached. It would wake the dead. He didn't like the demonstration, and agreed to try to be less aggressive if he has to wake up. This is just one area, it does get old, mopping up after the effects of birth parents and foster care.