Their bodies reaction coupled with the fact that they often love their abuser (a parent, beloved uncle, friend, whomever) is part of why sexual abuse is so damaging!

Thanks for addressing a tough topic. I don't think a lot of people realize this happens and how incredibly confusing it is.

Romee

Hi Faith!

Thanks for addressing this very important topic.
These conflicting emotions and conflicting bodily sensations experienced during childhood sexual abuse often do set up tremendous confusion for the child. As you have clearly pointed out,it can become an overwhelming burden for the child to attempt to sort out these confliciting emotions during the child's very healthy exploration of his/her own sexuality.

This combination of such strong emotions and an intense biological response may become "conditioned" to occur together whenever a strong emotion is triggered/elicited during everyday life activities.

The co-occurring strong emotions (intense fear and/or anxiety/panic), along with the "conditioned" biological response (sexual arousal) may also present significant confusion in many daily life scenarios of a non-sexual nature.

Within the same scenario of chronic childhood sexual abuse, the child is feeling a myriad of negative emotions and a sexual response, among other responses. This may also create the potential for a "conditioned response" of a primary fear and/or anxiety response in any "triggering" scenario, while also secondarily eliciting a sexual response. This can be extremely confusing to the child (and to any adults involved in trying to help the child). (For instance, the child may feel s/he is having a primarily sexual response to non-sexual stimuli, when the sexual response is merely a by-product of -- and secondary to-- an intense fear/anxiety response.)

After chronic abuse, any triggers eliciting intense fear/anxiety responses (also paired with hyperarousal and a sexual response, as a normal biological response, all co-occurring during childhood sexual abuse) may often continue to confuse survivors (and treating professionals) throughout adulthood.

The confusion, if it occurs and persists, may be due to the fact that the strong primary emotion (for example, fear) becomes tied in with hyperarousal and the eroticization of fear. In trying to understand the complex response, the focus may be placed upon the secondary ("conditioned") response, a "conditioned" sexual response, and not upon the primary emotional response of intense fear and its "trigger(s)."

Not only might such an "error" in focus lead to a great deal of misunderstanding and potential misdiagnosis (which may also lead to potential mistreatment), the focus placed upon the secondary response, rather than upon the primary emotional response (of the "triggering" of fear/anxiety) may often elicit more shame and guilt, further perpetuating negative self-esteem.

It is critical we, as a society, in any/all roles dedicated to the healing of children (and adult survivors alike), become as educated and as insightful as possible in an effort to assist these sweet innocent souls in their healing! Many thanks to Faith for her tireless dedication to helping to coach so many in how to best assist in healing the deep wounds of child abuse.

With Deep Gratitude,
KT

Here I am 61 and I still shake, have anal spasms and feel severe emotional pain when I think about my abuser. Is this possible? He never penetrated me or even touched me that I can remember anyway but my body has this response How does this happen? He has remained in denial and got away with it.....at the time I had no idea what an orgasm was or that I could have one....why the anal spasms...is that another sort of orgasm?

Thanks for bringing this subject up.