Sorry about dropping off the face of the earth last week. I came down with the H1N1 virus last week – not fun! I ran a fever for two days and stayed very dizzy for five days. I am so thankful to cross that “joy” off of my list of things to do. On to a much more interesting (and less nauseating) topic … adoption!

On 90210 last week, adopted child Dixon (played by Tristan Wilds) said those dreaded words to his adoptive mother, Debbie (played by Lori Loughlin): “You’re not my real mother, anyhow.”

Let me back up. Dixon’s girlfriend claimed to be pregnant as a way to keep Dixon from breaking up with her. Debbie figured it out, called the girlfriend on her scam, and told her to stay away from her son. The girlfriend claimed that she had a miscarriage. Dixon beat himself up over how he handled the “pregnancy,” so Debbie finally came clean with the truth. Dixon was very angry with Debbie for keeping this information from him. Dixon’s adoptive father, Harry (played by Rob Estes) tried to intervene, but Dixon responded that Debbie isn’t his “real mother” anyhow.”

Oh how I dread the day that those words are thrown at me by an angry teenager. It is one thing for an eight-year-old child to lash out in anger with those words because a little kid does not really get the damage that those words can inflict. A seventeen-year-old adopted child knows d@#$ well the damage that those words can cause, but he chose to do it, anyhow.

Last week’s episode did not resolve this issue, so I am curious to see where the storyline goes with this or if it just lets this drop for now. This show has been pretty good about tying up loose ends when it comes to the adoption storylines, so I hope that they do come back and address those painful words.

Debbie seemed to handle the issue well by saying nothing in the moment. I think that is probably the best reaction when you are blindsided like that. I would want to have a future conversation, but I would need to get my head together before I would be calm enough to have a rational conversation with the child.

For those of you who have had those words slung at you by a child old enough to appreciate the impact, how did you handle the situation? What advice do you have for fellow adoptive parents?

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt