An important part of adoptive parenting or foster parenting is helping the child understand the past. Sometimes you must even help an older adopted child recreate the past. A tool used in foster parenting is creating a lifebook for the child. You do not need to use an actual book called a lifebook. You can recreate the past using scrapbooks. In the past, we had children make drawings of people or places for which we did not have pictures. Another option is to cut some baby pictures out of a magazine that have similar coloring to the child to help fill the void. Obviously, the child helps do this, and the child knows that it is not an actual photo, but it represents the period of life that is missing. It is much easier now that there are so many scrapbooking supplies available to fill pages.

In the past, when I have had a child without a documented history, I have gone out with my camera and the child. We drove to schools that we knew the child had attended, homes where we knew the child had lived, and neighborhoods where the child had played. We took pictures of the child in front of those places to put into the scrapbook. If we had a baby picture, or a picture of a parent we used it. Once, keep this a secret please, I sat outside the courthouse with my camera and a telephoto lens. I took actual pictures of a birthparent as she exited the courthouse. These are the only photos we have of her. I had requested photos and it was denied by the legal guardian, yes, she was and is an adult.

We were able to get copies of school pictures back through kindergarten for one teenager. Her school file had followed her to the various schools. Even though a photo package was not always purchased, a picture was taken for the yearbook. The school places a small photo each year inside the file. We had pictures all the way back through kindergarten. With the ability to scan photos, we could resize and print fairly good pictures to fill in some of the blanks. We also visited various relatives and took pictures with our camera. Some relatives allowed us to borrow their younger pictures of the child, scan, and return them. You never know until you ask what people are willing to share.

When fostering and caring for teenage girls a foster parent soon learns to “get real.” Teenagers need to participate in a wide variety of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization. Thus, I have created, Friday Activities, Recreational Therapy, & Socialization, FARTS. Each Friday, I will talk about introducing and exposing our teenagers to these items. Our teenagers usually arrive delayed in social and developmental areas. What better way to help them catch up, then to immerse them in activities and social situations. Because my foster children arrived in their teen years, I haven’t much time left to parent and prepare them for adulthood. Due to their lack of proper social exposure and expectations, foster parents need to be prepared to speak openly, directly, and without being judgmental about all bodily functions. I recently shared menses issues with you, some of the many discussions I have had over the years. What types of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization programs have the foster teenagers participated in over the years?

Photo Credit: Amazon

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LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child author: Beth O'Malley asin: 0970183275