Adoption Under One Roof

My darling is now 11 years old, but I was recently looking at some old photos. She is 5 years old in this picture. And she is very happy.

Revisiting old history made me think about my "family and friends" letter. (Well there was also an email about doing adoption announcements on an email list that I hang out on.)

Once I decided to adopt, I slowly told my closest friends and family. I told them one at a time. I talked to them when it seemed natural. Once my plans firmed up, I sent out an adoption announcement. It was an eight page letter.

It was too wordy because I was excited about my plans. But I had tons of positive reactions. A note about the sperm question... I was (and still am) a single woman. I thought that I received the sperm question (multiple times) because I was single.

Family and Friends

I am in the process of adopting a child from Ukraine. You are receiving this note for a couple of reasons.

I want to share my joy and fears. Right now I am full of facts and just a little on edge. The adoption process is intensive and requires me to open my life to total strangers. I have come to believe that if everyone had to do a "home study" in order to have children there would only be 2 or 3 children on the planet.

Because I am a little nervous about the adoption, I tend to babble when anyone asks me about the adoption. In other words I have been answering simple questions with 1/2-hour dissertations. I am trying to provide basic information about my adoption journey.

I started thinking about adopting a child February 1998. I started seriously researching adoption July 1999. I started seriously pursuing adoption in December 1999.

I have told a few friends, family members and co-workers. I have discovered there are common reactions and questions to my adoption announcement.  If I have missed your reaction or question please let me know so I can add it to the list. (grin)

1. How nice. Congratulations

2. Don't you know about sperm banks? Why are you having a child outside of a heterosexual relationship?

3. Why adopt outside of the United States?

4. I thought you were adopting from China.

5. Why Ukraine? How does the adoption process work?

6. Do you want a girl or boy? How old is the child going to be? Is the child going to be healthy?

7. Isn't adoption expensive? Are you buying a baby?

8. Where is Ukraine?

9. What about the nuclear radiation?

10. How can I help?

If you have any interest in reading the answers to my questions let me know. Post a comment or email me at angelaw at ouradopt dot com if you think I should post the remaining 7 pages. I wrote the letter over 8 years ago which is why I am hesitating to post it. I am not sure it is relevant to international adoption today.

Related Links

• Getting Blindsided by Adoption-Related Questions
• Preparing Children In The Home For Siblings
• Talking Badly about an Adopted Child's Beginnings
• The "Wrong" Adoption Language with the "Right" Heart

Image Credit: AngelaW