Hanna is 24 and has been working with children since she was a child. She and her husband have been married for seven years and she recently finished a BS in Early Childhood Development. Her husband is a computer guru who has a gift for working with troubled kids. They are currently in the process of getting licensed for foster care and being placed with an 11 year old girl, whom they are planning to adopt.

The ironic thing is that when you get married at 17 many people assume that there is a baby involved. Seven years later, we are one of the last couples we know who do not have at least one child. I found out yesterday that one of my best friends from high school and his wife are expecting their first child, after only being married one year. Last week I found out that my stepbrother and his new bride got pregnant on their honeymoon at the beginning of July. I wish I knew how to be happy for them. I wish I knew how to keep these announcements from sending me into a whirlwind of emotions that I can’t do anything about, except pray…a lot.

My husband can’t quite understand why doing foster care is so important to me. I try to tell him that these feelings, these instincts are just sitting there, driving me crazy, and that my motherliness has to get out somehow. He still doesn’t and probably never will understand, but he understands that it is something I need to do, and at least he recognizes that these kids need his love as well.

So a little more than a year ago our “someday” situation of foster care became a little more concrete when a little girl at the group home that we worked at was in need of a placement after she graduated the program. Grace, as we’ll call her for now, had some pretty severe behaviors, but we loved her sweet spirit and knew that she needed someone to support her along the way.

At that point, Grace’s mom still had custody, but it would be a while before Grace was well enough to go home. We started preparing for our licensing, doing the paperwork, and preparing our house. After many, MANY snags, most involving our septic tank, we are finally on the final stretch. But now things are different. Grace’s mom terminated her rights this past March, and Kaleb and I are now fully intending to adopt Grace. A daughter. A preteen daughter.

When I was really feeling the “baby blues” the other day, a friend jokingly reminded me that even though we may be the last of our friends to have a child, we will definitely have the oldest child. Ö That made me laugh. So now my nesting instincts are in full gear, and the sooner Grace comes home the saner I, and subsequently my husband, will be. The beginning of a new journey, for both my husband and myself, and only God knows where it will go, so He will have to get us through it.