Adoption Under One Roof

Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth like I did last week. My absence tied into what I wrote about before I “went dark”: Parenting a Special Needs Adopted Child: Keeping it in Perspective. I am, quite frankly, overwhelmed with my adopted child’s special needs now that he is in third grade.

People told me that, with children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), the $#%& hits the fan in third grade, and they were absolutely right. Up through second grade, my adopted child was bright enough to work around his special needs and still be successful in school for the most part. However, third grade is a different ballgame, and his issues are becoming much more glaringly obvious.

My son has over 30 minutes of homework a day. This includes a math problem (5 minutes), a reading comprehension worksheet (5-10 minutes), spelling words (5 minutes), and 20 minutes of reading. Additionally, the children are learning how to take standardized tests, so there was also vocabulary to learn last week (sum = adding; difference = take away, etc.).

I only have 45 minutes from when school lets out until his ADHD medication begins wearing off. By the time we get home (he goes to school across town), I have about 20 minutes before he starts to lose his focus. If you do the math, that is not enough time to get through his homework while he is still medicated. This leaves us with either not doing what is left or having a very difficult time getting through it, not even knowing how much he is comprehending.

The third grade will begin reading the book Charlotte’s Web this week, which is too advanced for him. So, I am trying to figure out how to help him be successful with reading this book on top of his homework. He is being pulled out of class for an hour a day, five days a week, for special ed tutoring and then, as I shared in my last blog entry, I will also begin taking him to private occupational therapy (OT) sessions for his handwriting this week. The school is also going to try to get him into public OT sessions, and they would like for him to do both, which is even more time out of the classroom.

Yes, I understand that the “lost” time is focusing specifically on his needs and that the special ed teacher is helping him play catch up, but I am overwhelmed with all of these special services, which don’t have him anywhere near “caught up” yet. (Yes, I know that it is very early in the school year.) Couple that with trying to get him a flu shot and then later a swine flu shot because of his asthma, and I am ready to go hide under the covers until he gets a little older.

I am so grateful that I at least got my son an individualized education plan (IEP). His teacher has told me to tell her what modifications we need at home (such as reducing his homework load), and she will make it happen. She is the one who teaches math, which is not the problem. I really need to meet with his reading/writing teacher, but I am procrastinating at the moment.

Any advice from you been there/done that adoptive or foster parents? Does this get any easier?

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt