We at Adoption Under One Roof wish all of our readers an enjoyable Labor Day Weekend. We have decided to take a five-day break (Friday through Tuesday) so we can spend this time with our families. My family had planned to spend our weekend along the Eastern Seaboard, but Hurricane Earl had other plans. Alas! We will still enjoy our time together as a family … just not at the beach.

I don’t want to leave you empty-handed, so I have selected some of my most popular blog entries below. Happy reading!

Trauma-related Blogs

• Abused Adopted Child and Emotional Flashbacks
• Hypervigilance and the Traumatized Adopted Child
• Talking with Abused Adopted Child about Severe Abuse
• Trauma Thursday: What Does a Flashback Feel Like?

This weekend my dear friend “P” and her husband “M” are flying to Guatemala City. This is their "umpteenth" trip since they accepted the referral for baby Nola 2 year, 10 months, 3 weeks and 1 day ago. Pam has made four trips in the last two months – one of which my daughter and I joined.

P and her husband are going to give POA to a new lawyer to handle the adoption; the lawyer who was (mis)handling their case (and was my daughter’s lawyer by the way) recently announced that he was not going to continue with this case. No surprise – he has done almost nothing in the last 2 years.

There are 395 other children stuck in various hogares (orphanages) in Guatemala, and a few fortunate ones who were left living with their foster families until their adoptions are complete.

A common aftereffect of child abuse is the “all or nothing” mentality or seeing the world in “black and white” instead of in shades of gray. I recently wrote about my own struggles with this on my personal blog. You can read that for an example of how the “all or nothing” mentality can play out in the life of an adult. Since most of you who are reading this blog entry are parenting traumatized children, I will provide an example that you might see in your child.

Let’s say that Susy is invited to join the girl scouts. She might immerse herself in girl scouts. She cannot miss a meeting and has a complete fit if you try to get her to miss even a less important, optional gathering. If the goal for the scouts is to earn three badges during a period of time, she might insist on earning even more. She takes on any extra responsibilities asked of her with a smile on her face. Her life revolves around the girl scouts.

At some point, Susy will become so immersed in girl scouts that there is no balance in her life. She winds up missing out on other wonderful opportunities because she cannot say no to any girl scout-related activity. And then, out of seemingly nowhere, she wants to quit altogether. As the parent, you are baffled because this child has lived and breathed girl scouts for so long, but she will not even consider staying even marginally involved. It’s all or nothing, and she is 100% “out.”

A long wait in my doctor’s office today gave me ample time to read an interesting magazine  "Disney Family Fun" cover to cover. In addition to great recipes it had innovative ideas for activities for children and for reusing household items. This is one time I wish I had “taken” the magazine home with me, but fortunately I found it online.

In any case, two ideas stuck in my head from this magazine:

1. Cardboard Egg Cartons: These make great card holders for younger children who cannot hold and organize multiple cards in their hands. Invert the egg carton so the depressions are facing upwards and remove the carton top. Put slits along the flat areas for the cards and voila, you have a card holder. Another suggestion just from my own experience: My daughter has tons of play jewelry – we store the various pieces in the individual sections of an old egg carton. You can let your child decorate their homemade jewelry box with paint, crayons, markers, stickers or any medium you choose.

Yes, according to UNICEF this is the number of children who die around the world every day for any number of reasons, the reasons unfortunately not mentioned in their newest radio ad. Halloween is in the future and this is their fundraising season; they have a famous movie star with a dramatic voice giving these stats - too bad he didn’t do his homework before he agreed to support this top heavy and corrupt organization that is totally an “end in itself” as opposed to being a “means to an end.”

Any of you who have read my previous posts condemning UNICEF for wasting money, bribing countries to close adoption, corruption, lying, and rarely putting children’s interests first, may question my using their “numbers” when it is convenient. There is a reason for this: I think that is the only thing UNICEF does  well – count starving, sick, and orphaned children. Gross over exaggeration on my part? Perhaps, but I doubt it.

So UNICEF is asking you to give them money for their various funds. Before you put your hand in your pocket, pull out your check book, or click “PayPal” please consider the following facts:

1. UNICEF is anti-intercountry adoption PERIOD. They view adoption as the “last resort” for a child who is not being parented by any family member, nuclear or extended. UNICEF claims that orphanages are not ideal, but support keeping children in them under the pretense that they are “pro-reunification of parents and children” who have been separated for various reasons in third world countries: storms, earthquakes, famine, war, hurricanes, floods and the list goes on.

Point in case Haiti – UNICEF is fighting to halt all adoptions from Haiti telling the world they want to reunite children with their parents down the road. When? How? Well, that isn’t really their concern. They talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Children are living on the street and in filthy tents, being sold into prostitution and slavery, but not being placed for adoption.