It occurred to me that we at Adoption Under One Roof are committed to covering adoption from every angle, yet we have not addressed the pregnant woman considering an adoption plan for her unborn child. If you mention to anyone that you are considering placing your unborn child for adoption, people start coming out of the woodwork begging you to consider them to parent your child. Typically, the pregnant woman feels scared, unsure of her decision, unready to parent, or pressured to place. If you contact an adoption agency for advice, you will undoubtedly feel even more pressure to place your child for adoption, after all that is why they are in business and how they pay their bills. If you are a teenager, you may fear discussing your choices with your parents. You may expect them to be angry, kick you out of the house, or pressure you into placing, aborting, or parenting when you are not sure what you want to do.

Hubby is not usually affected by the day-to-day special antics of our teenage daughter who has multiple problems. However, he had some time off from working 14 hours a day, seven days a week, over the holidays to spend with the family. Usually, he thinks I am overreacting to her little escapes. Since he was around a bit more, she targeted him with some of her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, behaviors. For an hour or so one of those days, he sounded just like me. Yesterday, he approached me privately and whispered, we need respite care, soon. He went on to say that, he thinks her medications are wrong and her behavior is wackier than ever. Of course, we just saw the psychiatrist on Monday for prescriptions, how timely.

Same-sex couples encounter parenting difficulties that other family units never even imagine. One issue, I brought up in a comment on a recent guestblog, is family health insurance. When a family adopts a child, the parents typically add the child to their health insurance just as if they had given birth to the child. Except, if the adoptive parents are the same sex that is, because in many states, both parents cannot have their names on the birth certificate. Recently, a California couple took the birth certificate battle to Federal court. At stake, among other things, was their adoptive son’s right to have the health benefits provided by the employer of his father that works outside the home.

After the public school tested my daughter’s IQ and pronounced her to be of average intelligence and capable of doing regular eight grade school work, we pursued private testing. I explained to the psychologist that the school said my daughter can do eighth grade work and does not need services. However, at 15 she is failing fifth grade work, even though she is given three attempts to pass it. The psychologist suggested that he test her for neurological deficits that may be preventing her from functioning at her IQ level.

Do you have a child with a learning disability who is struggling in school and doesn’t seem to be progressing. Have you wondered if homeschooling your child would make a difference, but you don’t know what resources are available for children who are learning disabled? Whether children were exposed to drugs, alcohol, trauma, or suffer from a genetic learning disability, one-on-one tutoring with the person who knows them best and actually cares about their future can make a difference. Quite often the LD child is easily distracted so the less people around the better. In public school systems, LD children may be teased or worse, so I am not sure about the benefit of the social interaction. The fast-paced environment may cause the LD child to consider cheating or not doing the work at all to avoid being made fun of, or just to keep up with peers. While medication may help children with LD concentrate, the pace may still be too fast for the child actually to absorb the material.

Would you recognize the early signs of juvenile diabetes? Many children are diagnosed because of a crisis, rather than because someone observed the symptoms. Crisis may involve coma, organ damage, or injury due to high insulin levels for an extended time. In hindsight, many parents say that some clear indicators of juvenile diabetes were present. Constant thirst is a big indicator. Is the child always thirsty, yet the thirst is never quenched? Another indicator is constant urination. If your child, who has been potty-trained for years, is suddenly, having accidents you should check blood sugar levels to rule out juvenile diabetes. For example, a child who suddenly cannot make it home from school without wetting might be an indicator.

Are you looking for a meaningful project to do over the holidays with your child, foster child, or adopted child? Consider creating a family tree with your child, even if it is just a few generations. Seeing the names of family members in writing and how they are related to the child is very helpful. You may think your child already knows, but you may be surprised. Extended relationships are sometimes confusing to children, especially older adopted children, just entering your family. If you create a family tree that includes your newly adopted child, it can serve as sort of a roadmap for your child, especially at holiday gatherings. Concurrently, consider creating the family tree of your child’s birth family as well.

Most public schools will allow homeschool students to enroll in one or two classes. This allows the public school to earn some income from a homeschool student; otherwise the public school would receive nothing. Usually the homeschool student chooses band, chemistry, or other hands-on science classes. There are even some public schools that provide all of the educational materials to the parent and then grade the homework so the school continues to receive the funding. Another option is the area vocational or technological training center. Again, the school enrolling the child in the program will get to claim the student and receive tax dollars. The student can ride the school bus to the training center, studying welding, electrical wiring, nursing, or cosmetology for some examples. Local Math and Science centers may also have programs for the advanced homeschooled student. Ask your local school about testing your child for the program. One of our homeschooled children studied electrical wiring for a year in the morning and was homeschooled in the afternoon. The school was easy to work with and we never had any problems.

Do you have a child with ADHD or behavior challenges? Their minds are multi-tasking, able to take-in, and process multiple stimuli. Yet in public school, they need to sit quietly, while the teacher instructs the class of 25 or more children. That environment tends to cause the ADHD children to be perceived as defiant or naughty. Sometimes instruction is at a slower pace than the ADHD child is able to take in, the mind wanders causing fidgeting, talking, or unnecessary movement. For many children, medication helps them concentrate and comply with other rules of conduct. Another option is to offer homeschool instruction and utilize other resources to actualize your child’s intellectual potential. 

Do you have a child with learning differences, special needs, or even genius ability by birth or adoption? Have you considered homeschooling your special child to ensure every possible intervention is being utilized? You can negotiate your learning-disabled child’s IEP, but when 25 children or more are in the classroom; a teacher can only do so much. Perhaps you have a child who never has homework, then failed for not turning in homework. Maybe your child is the truly exceptional student with a genius IQ who is held to a slower pace at public school so other students can learn as well. You may have ideas about how you would do things differently, if only you were the teacher. Homeschooling can give your child one-on-one tutoring with you, or the resources you choose.

Are you worried about the lack of socialization? Do you take your children to scouts, 4-H, soccer, hockey, volleyball, dance, music lessons, and church? Well homeshooling parents allow their children to participate in these things as well, sometimes even more. There are homeschool cooperatives and support groups, adoption groups, and neighborhood playgroups. If you make a list, you may see that your child will have plenty of opportunities. In fact, too much socialization at school can lead to poor grades.