As I was wandering around the Internet this evening, window shopping at the world’s information I stumbled upon the gripping essay All That We Have Chosen, written by Susan Ito. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but almost instantly I was hooked by the story, and even as the tune changed, and the story began to grow dark, I continued to read, completely engrossed in the pain and utter honesty that had been so humbly laid out before me.

I thought about my blood, the tablespoons of blood that lay in the glass tube in the clinic. Blood that was waiting to speak, its language translated by chemicals and microscopes. Blood of the birthmother I'd tracked down and met when I was twenty, who had been glad to know me, but wanted me to stay a lifelong secret. Blood of my invisible birthfather, whose name she wouldn't reveal to me. Blood of so many unknown relatives. This blood was going to inform me of the presence of another, of one whose face I would finally see, a child to name and hold.

We are coming to the end of another week, so lets take a look at some of the things that have been going on this week in the world of adoption, shall we? A peek into the foster care system reveals bad news, as usual these days. As I am sure some of you have already guessed, the foster care system has taken a few blows as our economy continues to go into the crapper. More families cannot afford to feed their children, or pay for their homes, stress levels over financial woes are at all time highs, and patience levels at an all time low; which all leads to an influx of children into the system, and a shortage of foster homes. Then there are the budget woes, but we’ve beat that horse enough.

We move on to Wisconsin where a woman who allegedly scammed four different couples by offering them each the chance to adopt her ‘pretend’ unborn child, plead not guilty to the 16 counts of wire fraud charged against her. Exactly how that is actual news I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure that if she thought there was anything to feel guilty over in scamming multiple families out not only out of their money but their dreams for a family as well, she uh, wouldn’t have done it… DUH!

Interestingly enough, in Texas a woman out on supervised release, supervised release, for committing an adoption scam, was sentenced to 6.5 years for committing, yep, you guessed it ANOTHER adoption scam. Belinda Ramirez admitted to scamming a couple out of a whopping $800 by offering them the baby that she was pretending to be carrying. We’ll see if we can catch up with her in 6 years to see if they were worth the $800 she spent on them…

When most of us think of recycling we think of plastic bottles, and soda cans, but don’t forget that most of your old electronics can be recycled instead of tossed away in the trash, and there is more than one way to recycle an older electronic item. What’s the big deal you might ask? The big deal is that most electronics contain materials that are hazardous to our soil and water, like mercury, and lead. Electronics thrown away in land fills can leak these dangerous materials and contaminate the local environment.

Don’t forget about the magic of donating! Not everyone can afford to keep up with the demands of the latest and greatest technologies, and are happy to have electronics that are a little behind the times. Older TV’s, VCR’s, and video tapes are items that usually go quickly at garage sales, or are readily accepted by second hand stores.

Most new parents look forward to the end of the day, specifically their children’s bedtime, as it means that they can finally rest their weary bones for a spell, before starting their new and exhausting parental routine all over again the following day. Newly adoptive parents, have a few reasons to be a little nervous about the ‘bedtime routine.’ Especially if they have never read a bedtime story to a child before.

Before falling asleep at night, we are left lying in bed in the dark with nothing but our thoughts in our head. For those who have recently suffered trauma, or great upheaval in their lives, being alone with their thoughts is about the last thing they want to do!

Bedtime stories give your new child something else to think about, they can immerse themselves into a fantasy world where the pains of reality do not exist. They can help to relax your newly adopted child, and help him or her to feel more at ease in their new home. Reading a bedtime story to your newly adopted child is also a great chance for the two of you to begin bonding with one another.

So how do you go about reading a good bedtime story?

Hey Look! The Happy Book author: Snip Francis,Melanie Gilbert asin: 1890616222

Liar, liar, pants on fire! We are all guilty of little white lies from time to time, however lying can be a serious behavior problem for many older adopted children, and traumatized children. Children become extremely charged after experiencing trauma; such as suffering from abuse, neglect, or being removed from the only family that they have ever known. Live in a constant aroused state of fear, and anxiety lying becomes part of how they protect themselves from the chaos going on around them. It is in their eyes, the only way in which they have of showing some control over what is going on in their lives.

Healing from trauma takes many long years of hard, gut wrenching emotionally draining work, which means: don’t expect lying to disappear overnight, the lies will lessen as the child’s emotional pain does. While you may not be able to instantly cure a liar, it sure isn’t hard to spot one once you know what you are looking for.

You Know Your Adopted Child is Lying When You Experience:

Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life author: Paul Ekman asin: 080507516X

In my last blog about Dear Birthmother Letters, we went over why a Dear Birthmother letter should not be addressed as such, but just in case you missed that blog, and are feeling to lazy to click on the link, we will go over the basic idea right here one more time.

She is not yet a birthmother, she has not yet given birth, nor has she relinquished a child for adoption, therefore we do not want to start the letter off calling her something that is, in its entirety, completely false. When addressing a Dear Birthmother letter, if you are going to refer to the possible placing mother in the greeting, you want to refer to her as what she is, and not what she isn’t.

Here are some examples on how you can address your Dear Birthmother Letter:

• Dear Expecting Mother,
• Dear Concerned Mother,
• Dear Potential Birthmother, (if you absolutely must use it, at least use it right!)
• Hello,
• Hi,
• Greetings!
• Salutations!
• Hi there!
• Welcome to our Family,
• The story of us,
• This is who we are,

Dear Birthmother author: Kathleen Silber,Phyllis Speedlin asin: 0931722209

This is something that is not only really fun to do, but is really cheap if you use the natural resources around you instead of going to the craft store and buying the necessary materials for the project. Gathering the sand from various locations can give you and your child a chance to spend time together in nature allowing you ample time to teach your child about how important it is to preserve our natural resources.

Things you will need:

• *Paper
• Sand
• *Glue

This craft is fun for children of all ages because of how simple it is.

• Have your child draw whatever picture he or she so desires on the paper, with the glue.

• Make sure that the child understands that he or she must ‘fill in’ spaces with glue if they wish to have more than just an outline.

• You and your your child may have to go back and even out any large globs of glue so that the coverage is fairly even.

Most new parents, adoptive or otherwise usually find themselves so wrapped up in preparing for the actual arrival of their child, that few take the time to think about life beyond that point. And not all of the new skills that they must acquire once the title of parent has been earned.

Not only do new parents have a lot to learn about caring for a helpless infant, they are usually terrified about not learning the appropriate skills, not learning them fast enough, or not learning them well enough. In short; they’re afraid of messing up! Since all new parents get the jitters, and all parents can use a little extra help from time to time regardless of how long they have been parents, I introduce to you How To Tuesday. Where I will highlight basic parenting skills in a quick and easy reference format.

How to Clip an Infant's Nails:

Things You’ll Need:

Infant nail clippers or nail scissors

Infant mittens

A good set of chompers

2-Pack Scratch Mittens asin: B00069SSWW

When you are going through the private domestic infant adoption process, you will at some point along the way, be asked to write a ‘Dear Birthmother’ letter as part of your adoption profile. This part of the process is hard on most hopeful adoptive parents, who feel great pressure to write ‘just the right things.’ To accurately, yet briefly, describe every minute detail, of every aspect of their life. That a potential birthmother may find pertinent, deciding  information, in her quest for the perfect couple to raise her unborn child.…but to do so in about a page. Gee, and some find pressure in that? Go figure!

While the letter is something that must come from the heart, there are some basic mistakes that hopeful adoptive parents can avoid making by following the list of things to stay away from when writing your 'Dear Birthmother' Letter.

Don’t start the letter out “Dear Birthmother”

The name of the letter is completely and utterly misleading, I'm afraid. We do not actually begin a Dear Birthmother letter, by really addressing the letter as such. Those who are new to the adoption community may not know how controversial the term 'birthmother' actually is; however controversial it is, nonetheless. Besides the fact that many in the adoption community find the term to be highly offensive; a woman cannot actually be a birthmother until she relinquishes the child that she has given birth to, ergo... a woman considering adoption is not yet a birthmother. So, by using the term to head your letter, you are in essence, starting out by calling her the wrong name! Not what one would call a smooth move, my friend, not a smooth move at all.

The land of adoption is bustling today with news!

Our first story comes from Turkey, where certain adoption laws have been relaxed in the hopes of getting more children into adoptive homes.

We continue the theme of needing an adoptive home, with the next story about a 13 year old boy, who needs a loving family to call his own, more than anything else in the world!

Perhaps you are more interested in bringing home a daughter, rather than a son, well how about two daughters? This story highlights two sisters who desperately wish to be adopted together from the foster care system. They have already lost so much, their biggest fear is losing each other.

Speaking of foster care, there is a story hot off the presses, being reported by the Associated Press, about 6 children now in the Arkansas foster care system after police raided a compound, where the leader of the group believed that when it came to sex:

"consent is puberty,"-Associated Press

on suspicions of child pornography.