Last week I introduced you to the Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho. “Sleepy” was the “menopause dwarf” of the week.. This week “Forgetful” makes its debut.

If we weren’t parenting younger children at this point in our lives, forgetfulness would not be such a huge issue. But we need to keep track of appointments, remember conversations, keep promises, and attend events with our children. This is where the organized person comes out the winner. I’ll admit that I don’t carry around a pocket calendar; I have one calendar hanging on a wall in the kitchen and everything that needs to be remembered gets written on it. That keeps it down to one calendar the whole family can see and use. However there is no guarantee that I’ll remember to look at my calendar first thing in the morning. So I’ve developed a system that works well for me. Let me introduce you to the index card and cupboard door system.

If you have a computer and internet service, you have probably looked up reviews of movies before you view them. Unfortunately, many reviews don’t tell us enough about a movie to judge its appropriateness for children.Then once you are in the movie theater or have put the video or DVD on in your home, it is hard to change your mind in the middle without significant protest from your child.

Fortunately I came across a recommendation for a website called “Kids in Mind” that will help you choose movies for your child. The website covers new movies and movies on video and DVD, giving detailed descriptions under the categories: sex and nudity, violence and gore, and profanity.

Unlike some adoption agencies that have had their licenses stripped because of corruption, fraud or unethical practices, “Adoption Blessings Worldwide” (ABW) has relinquished their license to facilitate adoptions. Adoptions that are still in process will be handled by another agency that has yet to be identified by the owner of ABW, Tedi Hedstrom.

For months complaints from Florida and Georgia have reached authorities. One couple, the Ernfridssons, have already paid $40,000 to ABW, but have yet to complete an adoption. Their baby room remains empty and they have spent all of their life savings.

Yes, Adoption Blessings Worldwide did facilitate successful adoptions, but this did not necessarily make it a reliable or ethical agency. Even the worst of agencies can pull off adoptions, but ultimately the number of people who have serious problems increases and eventually, although sometimes not quickly enough, the truth is revealed and the agency closed down.

You’ve heard the expression “pick your battles” more times than you’ve wanted to. Basically it means that iinstead of criticizing, disciplining, and admonishing your child for every little thing they do wrong, choose the behavior that is the most bothersome or reprehensible and address it. If you react to every inappropriate action or behavior, your child will respond to nothing. I’ve decided to eliminate "pick your battles" from my vocabulary because these “battles” are rarely resolved successfully when they are addressed as battles. Henceforth I’m going to say, “stepping back, taking a deep breath, and evaluating the situation.”

Here are some examples from the toddler age, when the issues are small but annoying. My tornado toddler is like an octopus with eight legs and can be into multiple things in seconds. She can be pulling food out of the pantry, unrolling a roll of toilet paper, opening the door and running outside, poking our Great Dane in the ear with her finger, and using a chair to climb up on the counter to reach whatever has attracted her attention, all within a five minute period. I could stop and tell her not to do each of these things; truthfully I’ve done this and I feel like I’m “chasing my own tail” – otherwise, totally ineffective.

So many of us have made this mistake: we reach the decision to adopt often after months, sometimes even years of soul searching. Then we randomly choose an adoption agency because we naively believe that anyone in the adoption business must be caring and honest. Sometimes we luck out, but all too often we have begun a ride on the roller coaster from hell.

One of the reasons this happens is that once you’ve made the decision to adopt, you want to adopt as quickly as possible. You have little patience to start researching adoption agencies, comparing data and making phone calls to check recommendations. But this is an extremely crucial decision, and the more cautious you are about which agency you will work with, the smoother your adoption process will be.

Corrupt, unreliable, and inefficient adoption agencies will often present themselves very well. They may have attractive websites and friendly receptionists when you call. They know what you want to hear and will ensure that you hear it from them. Their promises are unrealistic, but if this is your first adoption, and you haven’t done your homework, you won’t know this.

We have several advertisers on our website, and I’d like to personally introduce them to you. Maya Works is a fair trade company, and the others are cottage industries owned by hard working people who stand behind the quality of their products as well as providing excellent customer service.

The “Maya Works” banner decorates the top of our home screen. They carry products from Guatemala at very reasonable prices, and the products are not only beautiful but well made. There is a 10% coupon on the banner for your purchase through us. I have given and received several gifts from “Maya Works” and I highly recommend them.

On the right hand side of the home page, the top ad belongs to “My Culture,” a company that carries a variety of adoption products and gifts. I purchased a long sleeve cotton t-shirt for my daughter that is extremely soft and well made; it is even made in the U.S. I’ve washed it several times and the logo has not faded and the shirt remains soft.

Directly below “My Culture” is “La Chapina Huipil Crafts,” owned by Erin, an adoptive mother who has been living in Guatemala for over a year while trying to finalize her daughter’s adoption. Erin uses recycled hand-woven textiles to make collages, mosaics, note cards and more. I have purchased a few of her products and they are gorgeous. Erin is a very talented artist.

If you click to read any of the blogs on the first page, you will be taken to the second page and notice a banner at the top. This is Becky’s hand crafted and personalized jewelry that goes under the  charming name, “Galleria di Bello Monili.” Recently I had Becky make a name bracelet for a friend’s daughter. It was beautifullly made with quality materials. You can design your own jewelry and Becky will put it together for you. Becky is an adoptee and has contact with her birthmother and her birthmother’s family.

So please take the time to visit the unique products advertised on our website.. You will discover lovely gifts at reasonable prices without having to go any further than your computer to shop.

If you are interested in advertising with us, send me an email at lisas@ouradopt.com. The first month of advertising is only $10.

(Although I have enjoyed my purchases from these companies, I am not being paid to post this blog and am also not liable for any of the products you purchase.)

According to the Guatemalan newspaper, Prensa Libre, two children in Guatemala have been legally adopted under the new adoption law of 2007. These are the first two adoptions to be completed under the reigns of the National Council for Adoptions (CNA), the organization that replaced the defunct previous adoption system. Nineteen month old Jose and seven month old Sandra were adopted by a Guatemalan family. To date, the CNA has 58 children who are available for legal adoption and 89 applications from couples, however only ten of the 89 applications have been approved.

The CNA favors domestic adoptions, but a special needs child will be placed with an American family within the next few days. This is encouraging news as many of us truly feared that not one more Guatemalan child would find a home in the U.S. after the CNA took over. Personally I am cautiously optimistic.

However it is impossible to write about Guatemalan adoptions without pointing out that there are still far too many children grandfathered under the old system that are stuck in the adoption process in Guatemala, particularly in the Attorney General’s office (PGN). Additionally, over 1000 adoption cases are still missing the birthmother interviews.

If you’ve adopted your child at an older age and are female, there is a good chance that you may go through menopause during your first years of parenting. Now I don’t believe that this makes us better or worse parents, it simply adds a few challenges along the way.

If you haven’t heard of the Seven Dwarfs of Menopause yet, I’m sure you’ll recognize them once you read their names: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho. Now I take issue with the “Psycho” Dwarf, a negative stereotype that could easily be replaced by a milder “Moody” for example, but the others are pretty much on target in my opinion.

Let’s begin with “Sleepy.” Many of us have insomnia during menopause or restless sleep caused by hot flashes and hot sweats. Often you get up in the morning feeling more tired than you were before you went to bed. If you add to the mix a child awakening occasionally, nights end up being nightmares. I find that my daughter co-sleeping with me induces hot sweats as she likes to cuddle up really close.

Being patient with your child and enjoying your time together are a real challenge when you are sleep deprived. So what can we do about this? First, may I strongly suggest removing caffeine completely from your diet.

My Guatemalan born daughter and I were observing fish and other underwater creatures in an aquatic center a few days ago, when a man approached us. He smiled and said, “She must look like her father because she sure doesn’t look like you.” I smiled back and said, “she probably does.” I felt no need to divulge any more information to a total stranger.

This stranger’s remark didn’t bother me; he spoke in a friendly manner with no malicious intent,and it was certainly preferable to being asked if she was my granddaughter, not an unusual occurrence when you are fifty-four years old. But later I began to think of how Ella would respond to remarks like this. After all, she is not part of the white majority that does not suffer from racial discrimination in this country.

We have reached that stage in my toddler’s life when she can do without a nap some days. This is another one of those transitional periods that characterize the first three years of a child’s life. Generally I welcome a change that signifies maturation, but not this one.