Adoptee health

Update on Baby Vanessa’s Birthfather who is Fighting for her Custody

Submitted by LisaS on Fri, 07/30/2010 - 23:06

Baby Vanessa was adopted by Stacey Doss at birth and now the birthfather is contesting the adoption. Vanessa was to be returned to Ohio from her home with Stacey Doss in California but Doss managed to get a temporary emergency stay order so her daughter would not be placed in foster care in Ohio while the battle over custody ensues.

The birthfather, an unsavory character who has spent time in prison for domestic violence and also has an open case of child endangerment filed against him (he has four other biological children but has custody of none), apparently was harassing Vanessa’s birthmother, Andrea Conley at a bus stop. Conley supports the adoption of her daughter Vanessa by Stacey Doss and has filed a petition for a domestic violence civil protection order against Benjamin Mills, Jr.

Information from Sherrie Cramer (mother of Katie Cramer who desperately needs a bone marrow donor) on Bone Marrow Registry

Submitted by LisaS on Thu, 07/22/2010 - 08:50

(Follow up to this blog.)

The following information is copied from this blog.  

Thank you to all of the families who have contacted me regarding having your child who was adopted from China tested as a possible match for Katie! As many of you are aware, it is quite possible for our children to have a sibling who has also been adopted. Also, one thing I learned by my trip to China, many of our children who possibly come from rural families are quite underrepresented on the current bone marrow registries around the world, including China’s registry (CMDP).

I pray that none of your children will ever need to have a transplant; however, if this should ever befall your family or any other child/person who has been adopted from China, your act of having this typing done can be of great assistance to that person.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been told that the strong desire of a young person (generally over 12 years of age) to be a donor will usually trump any ethical considerations to limit those under age 18 of being a donor. This age limit is not set because of restrictions on being able to be a donor – doctors can perform a transplant with a donor as young as 6 months of age – but is done for legal reasons only.

Adoptive Mother Travels to China to Find Donor for her Daughter

Submitted by LisaS on Thu, 07/15/2010 - 14:16

Katie was adopted from an orphanage in China where she had a poor and malnourished start to life. Her mother, Sherrie Cramer, brought her to the US and provided her with love, nourishment, a home, and two sisters also adopted from China. Now Cramer has returned to China, not to adopt but to find a bone marrow donor for Katie who is suffering from acute myleoid leukemia.

Unable to find a donor in the US Cramer has travelled to China trying to find a donor among the 16 million people in Katie’s Zhuang ethnic group. Katie has no known living relatives. Time is of the essence as the doctors say that Katie will only live another month or two without the bone marrow transplant.

According to the Asian American Donor Program,

 ethnic minorities overall have a 50 percent chance of finding a perfect match from the U.S. bone marrow donor registry of 8 million people, compared to an 80 percent chance for Caucasians.

GUEST BLOG: The Trials and Tribulations Experienced When Reuniting With Birth Family Members

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 21:27

Marjorie Shaw is an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption and author of the book, “A Legitimate Life: A Forbidden Journey of Self Discovery" published on Adoption Under One Roof.

Everyone who is in reunion needs to read “Adoption Reunion ...Ecstasy or Agony” by Evelyn Robinson before, during and after reuniting with any birth relative. As an adoptee in reunion I have read and reread her book on a regular basis as I experience long buried feelings of sadness, grief and even admitting to myself I feel like a total failure as a human being.

An adoptee can find all sorts of obstacles during reunion such as lies, jealousy, mind games, denial, more rejection, silence, grief which is much like being on an endless emotional roller coaster. Some adoptees have smooth sailing but some do not. It all depends on the birth family and how they had lived without the child lost to adoption. In my case it was a closed adoption and was never to be discussed or questioned with my adopters or siblings. No one seems to understand what it is like to grow up without any reflection of oneself in the family. My adoptive parents closed mindedness didn’t stop me from conducting my secret search for my birthmother when I was 21.

It was rough going as my birth parents were in denial but that didn’t stop me from continuing to search for my half siblings on both sides. My half siblings on both sides had problems at first as they were trying to be loyal to their mother and father leaving me to wallow in despair. However little by little trust was gained and I received bits and pieces of information in the form of pictures, family heirlooms, and genealogy. Each bit of information showed our similarities and helped to create a reconnection to my true identity, the one I shared with blood relatives as relationships slowly formed as we exchanged letters and a few phone calls.

Access to Birth Certificates Advancing in Three States

Submitted by LisaS on Fri, 04/30/2010 - 20:15

“In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning; no matter what our attainments in life, there is the most disquieting loneliness.” -- Alex Haley (Roots)

On April 21 the Illinois Senate passed HB 5428 granting adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates unless the birth mother asks to remain anonymous. When this bill is signed by Gov. Pat Quinn on April 29 it will apply retroactively to all adoptions in the state. In Rhode Island and Connecticut similar bills that would allow adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates are now under consideration. Rhode Island S2759 was referred to the Senate Committee on Health and Human Services, while Connecticut SB293 was referred to the Committees on Judiciary in both the House and the Senate.

GUEST BLOG: Ways for Adoptees to Search for Their Biological Parents

Submitted by LisaS on Fri, 04/09/2010 - 17:39

Special thanks to Marjorie for preparing this list for our readers.

Some of our readers are adoptees who have found their birth parents, others are not and are searching. I asked one of our guest bloggers, Marjorie, to prepare a list of how to go about searching for birth parents. If you have any other suggestions please post them in the comment section below this blog or send me an email at lisas@ouradopt.com.  At Adoption Under One Roof we feel it is essential to offer help to all members of the adoption triad and to share any information we have. To those of you who are searching, good luck.

In getting started, you will first need to know your biological parents first and last names. While browsing the Internet for locating people just simply insert their names and if you know what city or state they reside in the information will come very handy. Making contact with your natural parents is likely to be time-consuming but it's not likely to be time wasted.

Then:

1. Join every search registry you can

2. Find out in what state or country you were born ..what hospital if you can as the birth records are there.

3. Find out the adoption agency from which you were adopted and see if they have any information for you or ways to search.

4. Adoptees Liberty Movement (ALMA) is very helpful.

5. Get a copy of your Adoption Decree if you can as it states the name of your biological mother on it in many instances

Why we Need to Limit the Amount of HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) our Children Get in Their Diets

Submitted by LisaS on Wed, 03/31/2010 - 21:21

When we think of sugar substitutes, aspartame, saccharin and sucralose come to mind. But there is one more and it is the most common one in the U.S. - high fructose corn syrup (hfcs). It actually accounts for 57% of artificial sweetener used.

And what exactly is hfcs? It is made by treating corn to break up the starch and protein bonds and then separating the germ from the kernel. This is ground up, the starch removed and converted into syrup. Then fructose and glucose are added. There is nothing “natural” about this sweetener because it has the word corn in it. Preservatives are added to hfcs and ultimately it has 10% more fructose than table sugar. It is also much cheaper than normal sugar which is why it is used in so many food products and soda pop instead of normal sugar.

The Thought of Putting My Daughter in the Public School System Makes Me Sick(er)

Submitted by LisaS on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 07:12

This has been a rough weekend for me as I battled my second round of flu in just over a week. There was little I could do but lie in bed hoping that I’d be able to be up and around Monday morning when my husband goes back to work. So lying in bed exhausted and weak I had plenty of time to think and think a little more.

Five years ago when my youngest son graduated out of the public school system I had a private celebration. I was so relieved to be finished with below average teachers and a heavily bureaucractic school system. As an involved parent I had listened to teachers and administrators complain about how hard their lot was, but honestly I wasn’t impressed – I just felt the need to support them so they would at least be nice to my child. I had taught in another country and personally felt that the teachers here had it pretty darn good – a shorter school year, more vacation days, and a lot less accountability for student results.

Disability Rates Among Adopted Children

Submitted by LisaS on Fri, 03/05/2010 - 09:51

Philip N. Cohen, sociologist at UNC Chapel Hill has completed a study of disability rates among adopted children based on census data from 2000. He and his partner Rose Kreider:

 “found no major differences between domestic and international adoptees -- though they all have disability rates about twice the national average.”

It is often assumed that children adopted from third world countries will have far more disabilities than children adopted domestically (within the US) because of deprivations so I was rather surprised to read the findings of this study. I was also reminded by the author that boys tend to have a higher rate of certain disabilities than girls.

Should we be Doing Birthparent Searches Without our Children's Approval?

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 02/14/2010 - 23:16

In a recent comment, John brought up some important questions about birthparent searches:

... is it appropriate for the adoptive parent to do a search if the child hasn't indicated they want a search? Isn't that invading the rights of the child? It is his parent, not the adoptive Mom or Dad's parent. All five of mine came from foster care, a different type of adoption, but all have very strong feelings that searching is their prerogative only. It could be that my kids’ reactions are purely due to their backgrounds. It could also be that by the time the infant adoptees reach teenage and adult years that they too will feel that it is intrusive, and presumptive. Indeed, waiting to search may mean never getting an answer, but isn't the child's sense of his parent respecting him more important?

Let me address John's points one at a time.

Do we  invade the rights of our adopted child when we search for their birthparents without their approval?

I don’t think we are invading the rights of our adopted children when we do this; if anything we are invading their privacy. I believe it is their right to have open birth records and their right to be able to have contact with their birthparents when they so decide and the birthparents are in agreement.