Home

Adoption Under One Roof

Covering adoption from every angle, every view, for everyone

Main Menu

  • Home
    • Recent Comments
    • What's New
  • Resources
    • Adoption Statistics
      • American Adoption Statistics Summary
      • Australian Foster Care Statistics
      • Czech Foster Care Statistics
      • Russia Adoption Statistics
      • Scotland Adoption Statistics
      • UK Foster Care Statistics
    • Adoption Types
      • Domestic Adoption
        • Foster Care Adoption
        • Kinship Adoption
        • Private Domestic Adoption
        • Stepparent Adoption
      • Intercountry Adoption
        • Hague Intercountry Adoption Treaty
        • Independent Intercountry Adoption
        • Intercountry Adoption Through An Agency
        • Adopting From China
        • Adopting From Ethiopia
        • Adopting From India
        • Adopting From Korea
        • Adopting From Russia
      • Older Parent Adoption
      • Single Parent Adoption
    • Definition of Adoption Terms
    • Getting Started
      • Is Adoption The Right Choice For Your Family?
        • Adoption Readiness Assessment
      • Assessing Adoption Health Risks
      • Choosing An Adoption Agency
      • Coming to Adoption after Infertility
      • Coming to Adoption After Loss
      • The Adoption Home Study Process
    • Newsletter, Subscribe To Email List
      • Newsletter, Read On Website
  • Blogs
    • Blog Comments
    • What's Hot
    • Guest Blogger
      • Guest Blog Directory
      • AdoptedEunmi
      • John
      • Lee
      • Patricia Dischler
      • RostovCuties
      • Scrapsbynobody
      • Snafu Suz
      • VirginiaC
    • Adoption Maharishi
    • AngelaW
    • FaithA
    • Foster Mommy
    • JulieC
    • LisaS
    • Sandra Hanks Benoiton
  • Reviews
    • Review Comments
    • What's Hot
  • News
    • News Comments
    • What's Hot
  • Polls
    • Poll Comments
  • About
    • Our Philosophy
    • Navigating Our House
    • Site Map
    • Contact Us
Home

User login

  • Create new account
  • Request new password

Buy From Amazon.com - Adoption Books, Movies, Music

cover of China Girl: One Man's Adoption Story
China Girl: One Man's Adoption Story

Recent Comments

  • Those are good ideas. A lot
    1 hour 11 min ago
  • I can understand -- just don't agree
    2 hours 16 min ago
  • So true... I never
    2 hours 35 min ago
  • This is an example of
    12 hours 18 min ago
  • So true First of all, that's
    1 day 1 hour ago
  • The comments referring to
    1 day 1 hour ago
  • I still don't think ANYONE
    1 day 3 hours ago
  • Interesting comment
    1 day 5 hours ago
  • Good reply soblessed. Lisa
    1 day 19 hours ago
  • A newspaper? I definetly
    1 day 20 hours ago

More

Recent blog posts

  • Who Has the “Power” in Adoption?
  • Older Adoptive Parenting: Introducing “Forgetful”, yet Another of the Seven Dwarfs of Menopause
  • How Can a Foster Parent Discipline a Foster Child
  • Michael Savage.. Autism Due to Bad Fathering
  • Trauma Tuesday: Traumatized Adopted Child Triggered by Location
  • Helping you Decide What Movies Your Adopted Child Should be Allowed to View
  • Why Can’t Foster Parents Use Corporal Punishment
  • Another Adoption Agency Bites the Dust
  • Medicating the ADHD Adopted Child for Summer Camp
  • Which Foster Child Behaviors Are You Willing to Take On?
more

New News

  • Military Family Posted In Germany Adopts From Foster Care
  • Adoptees Mental Health OK, But Parents May Be Crazy
  • John Barrowman (Science Fiction Star) Wants to Adopt
  • Black Woman Thinking About Adopting White Child
  • Judith Leekin Guilty of Adoption Fraud, Gets 11 Years
  • Alleged Embezzlement - Stole $500,000 from Foster Care
  • Katie Price and Peter André Adopting
  • Doesn't Believe in International Adoption
  • Adoption Nightmare: An Interview with Dawn DeLorenzo, Part I
  • Russia Banned American Adoption Agencies (not related to recent dead child)

More

Adoptees

Birds of a Feather Flock Together and so Do Foster Children

Submitted by FosterMommy on Mon, 07/21/2008 - 02:08.
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive family
  • Adoptive parenting
  • Bird of a Feather
  • Children's Issues
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Friends of Foster Children
  • Older child adoption
  • Talking about adoption
  • Teens
  • Traumatized children
  • Tweens

 

You know the old saying “Birds of a feather flock together,” and so foster child seem instinctively to find each other. Over the years, teenager girls have come and gone. They usually made friends, some more than others did of course. I have always made a point of meeting friends and asking questions. Inevitably, the friends are somehow affected by foster care or adoption. Some are adopted through foster care, part of a foster family, foster child, or they should be. My children always seem surprised when they discover that their new friend is somehow associated with foster care. Over the years, I have realized the truth of the phrase, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Foster children are able to find each other almost intuitively.

  • FosterMommy's blog
  • 1 comment
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Advice From Adult Adoptee: Communication, Love, and Honesty

Submitted by FaithA on Wed, 07/16/2008 - 12:45.
  • adopted child
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive family
  • being honest with adopted child
  • Talking about adoption
  • talking with adopted child about adoption

Boy in baseball cap (c) Lynda BernhardtI recently talked with an adult adoptee about adoption. I asked this young woman if she had any advice for me as an adoptive mother. She said that her most important advice is to keep the lines of communication open so that my adopted child feels free to talk with me about his adoption. Adopted children need to feel free to ask questions about their adoption as they have them.

Her second most important piece of advice was to give your adopted child plenty of love. She said that as long as you have communication and love in your relationship with your adopted child, then you provide the foundation for the other pieces to fall into place.

Number three on her list was honesty.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Why Do Some Adoptees Embrace the Label “Bastard”?

Submitted by FaithA on Mon, 07/14/2008 - 12:45.
  • Adoptees
  • adult adoptees
  • anti-adoption
  • bastard

Seashore (c) Lynda BernhardtAs I shared last week, an adoptee blogger took issue with something that I wrote on Adoption Under One Roof. In the course of reading over the comments on her blog, I learned that some adoptees actually choose to include the word “bastard” in their cause (whether that cause is through a blog, website, or group) to make a statement. Can somebody please explain to me what this statement is?

I ask this question in all sincerity. I truly do not understand this. To me, the term “bastard” is as offensive as calling an African-American the “N” word or a homosexual the “F” word. I would never use any of these terms to describe another person, and my son would be in big trouble if I ever heard him refer to another person in this manner. So, what message is intended to be conveyed when a person chooses this label in furtherance of his own cause?

  • FaithA's blog
  • 9 comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Ways to Build Your Teenage Foster or Adopted Child’s Self-Esteem

Submitted by FosterMommy on Sun, 07/13/2008 - 01:53.
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • International adoption
  • love yourself
  • Older child adoption
  • self esteem issues
  • Self-esteem
  • self-loathing
  • self-respect
  • self-worth
  • Teens
  • Tweens

A person who feels capable, respected, and has a sense of self-worth generally has high self-esteem. That is probably the exact opposite of how your new foster or adopted child will feel. I often hear people complain about a newly placed child’s lack of concern about family members, family property, consequences, or discipline. It is difficult, if not impossible to love someone, care about others, or care about personal losses when you do not love yourself, have self-worth, or self-respect. Being the child’s new parent puts you in a position of influence. Your words, time, and interactions with your new foster or adopted child can either build the child’s self-esteem and improve your relationship or destroy it.

  • FosterMommy's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati

A Second TB Test Needed for Children Adopted from Abroad

Submitted by LisaS on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 12:45.
  • Adoptee health
  • Adoptees
  • International adoption

I came across an important article today that is relevant to all of us that have adopted children from poor countries. Apparently, tuberculosis (TB) is not always detected in the first TB test our children have when we bring them home. Based on a recent study, a second skin test should be administered within three to six months to any child who tested negative the first time.

A group of researcher looked at 527 children who were tested within two months after arriving in the U.S. Of those 527, 111 or 21% tested positive for TB. From the group who tested negative, 203 were retested over three months later; 38 tested positive for the latent form of TB on this second test.

  • LisaS's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Adoptee Blogger Upset With My Comments

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 07/10/2008 - 14:36.
  • Adoptees
  • adult adoptees
  • anti-adoption
  • pain after adoption
  • Ungrateful Little Bastard

Girl behind bars (c) Lynda Bernhardt

An adoptee blogger who writes a blog entitled Adoption and its Triad posted an entry on Tuesday called Loyalty and Lurkers in which she took issue with a comment I posted on Adoption Under One Roof. She takes issue with comments posted by Snafu Suz and Linny, too, so at least I am in good company.

Let me start from the beginning. In her blog entry entitled An Adoptee in Pain, Lisa wrote about a blog entitled Ungrateful Little Bastard. That blog has gone private, so there is no point in providing the link. That post spawned further discussions about adult adoptees’ pain. That post generated many comments, but only three are mentioned on the Loyalty and Lurkers blog entry. One of those is mine.

The blogger took issue with the following comment that I posted:

  • FaithA's blog
  • 18 comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati

When an Adopted Child Honestly Expresses Pain

Submitted by FosterMommy on Thu, 07/10/2008 - 02:44.
  • 8 years old
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • alcohol exposure
  • Cocaine exposure
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • International adoption
  • Older child adoption
  • stoic child
  • Traumatized children

child readingHave you provided foster care or adopted a child who cannot express pain, happiness, or anger? A recent comment by a reader reminded me of a child who lived with me several years ago. While she had not suffered physical abuse as a young child, she suffered a lot of neglect. She was also exposed to alcohol and cocaine while forming in her birthmother. Her counselor described her as stoic. That was at the tender age of eight. How may stoic eight year olds do you know?

Perhaps we could be thankful for the times when they smile, for the times that they honestly express their pain (because authenticity is hard, especially when one's been kicked around), and for all of the moments where they are still here, alive, contributing to society in whatever form, be it ever so small. By MermIndianHippie

 

  • FosterMommy's blog
  • 1 comment
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Ask the Adoption Maharishi: Why Do People Have Kids?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 07/02/2008 - 17:25.
  • Adoptees
  • Adoption advocacy
  • Adoption basics
  • Adoption Statistics
  • birth vs adopt
  • DAM
  • why adopt

Crystal Ball

Why do people have kids [via birth] when so many other kids need homes? Do people know about the kids needing families?

- 11 years old, adopted at 4 years of age, came into the child protective system due to neglect

 

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
  • 1 comment
  • Read more
  • Technorati

Girl with no country (adopted Guatemalan children in immigration limbo for 14 years)

Submitted by AngelaW on Sun, 06/15/2008 - 20:30.
  • Adoptee rights
  • Adoptees
  • Adoption News
  • Guatemala
  • Guatemalan adoption
  • International adoption
  • US adoption laws
Description: 

It is a 4 page article. It tells the stories of

  • Fifteen-year-old Allie Mulvihill
  • Fifteen-year-old Alexandra Mulvihill
  • Casa Quivira
     

Allie and Alexandra are legally in the United States but their parents have struggled getting them U.S. citizenship. Both families need to readopt the children in a United States court prior to their 16th birthday OR the children can be deported. And knowing immigration as I do... I bet they would deport these 16 year old children while saying, "That is the rules."

 

Link: 
Girl with no country (adopted Guatemalan children in immigration limbo for 14 years)
  • Login or register to post comments

Self-Esteem, the Adopted Child, and Adult Adoptees

Submitted by FaithA on Mon, 06/09/2008 - 19:15.
  • adopted child
  • adopted persons
  • Adoptees
  • adoptees
  • adult adoptees
  • angry adoptees
  • self-labeling

Journal entry about NED programMy son’s elementary school just had a wonderful program called The NED Show. I was able to attend the second half of the program, and I was in tears (in a good way) over the positive message that my adopted child was receiving. NED stands for:

Never Give Up

Encourage Others

Do Your Best

- The NED Show

The speaker was dynamic, and his message was so positive. When I saw an auditorium of children holding up their hands and enthusiastically promising to “never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give up on myself,” I could feel the tears filling my eyes.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Technorati
123456next ›last »

Buy From Amazon

Site Map
© 2008 Adoption Under One Roof LLC. All Rights Reserved. email: info at ouradopt.com
Opinions expressed in posts and blogs belong to the person who is expressing them. So then it follows that these opinions are not those of Adoption Under One Roof.