A reader wants to know:

Should race matter in the adoption process?

Whether or not race should matter in the adoption process, the reality is that race is a factor, just as age, gender, religion, and other differences matter in the adoption process. When I was going through the adoption process, I was shocked about how specific I was expected to be in what type of baby or child I was hoping to adopt. I had no idea that I was going to have to say yes or no to multiple health issues in both the baby as well as the birth parents. The process worked both ways – the birth mother was the one choosing which adoptive family would parent her baby, and she could specify the age, race, religion, and other factors that she felt comfortable with.

The race of the child placed for adoption and the adoptive parents does not matter in the sense of one race being “better” than another. What matters is that you have a good match. Any adoptive parents who are racist have no business adopting a child outside of their race, and thank goodness the screening during the adoption process prevents this from happening. No child deserves to be raised by parents who devalue him for any reason, whether it is for race, gender, or any other factor.

Anyone who is considering a transracial adoption needs to go into it with his eyes open. Transracial adoptions come with their own potential issues that are not experienced when people adopt a child of the same race.