adoption process

Should Non-Custodial Parents Have a Say in their Child’s Adoption?

Submitted by JulieC on Tue, 05/12/2009 - 23:32

Reading through all of the hubbub going on in the news at the moment about Madonna and her attempt at a second adoption from Malawi, one part of the case caught my attention.  The father of little Mercy James, the young Malawian girl Madonna is still hoping to adopt has said that he does not want the pop star to adopt his child, he wishes her to remain in her birth country and that:

I want to take care of her, and I'm capable to take care of my baby...

-source

 
I found this quote interesting since he admits that he has never seen his daughter face to face, along with the fact that she has apparently lived in an orphanage since her birth.  How is it that he is capable of taking care of his child, if he has yet to meet her in the first four years of her life?

I can understand him not wanting his daughter to be taken out of the country, the thought of being so far away from my own children sends shivers down my spine, but if he has never met his child, and she resides full time in an orphanage and has done so since birth, should he really have a say in who can, and who cannot adopt her?

Surviving the Wait: Keeping Busy While Waiting to be Matched with Your Child

Submitted by JulieC on Mon, 04/20/2009 - 22:19
Donate old/ unused items.  Your house is getting ready to be hit by a tornado of child related products, the likes of which you’ve never seen or experienced before.  Make some space by clearing out all the non-essential clutter you have hiding in the closets.

Have a yard sale.  If you have some items that you can earn a little cash from, why not go ahead and have a yard sale?  You can use the money to help pay for some of your adoption related expenses.

Decorate the child’s room.  You may not know if you should be buying Disney Princess or Hanna Montana, but you can pick out furniture, and color schemes.  If you aren't into painting just yet, check out some of those static cling stickers for the walls.  They have a ton of different designs and themes, and once you are tired of them, they come right down!

Go shopping.  Again you may not know what size clothes to buy, but if you are adopting a child under the age of 3, you will need a high chair and other baby/ toddler items that can be picked out while you wait.  Other essential items like children’s shampoo, extra wash clothes, hairbrush, bubble bath, and so forth can also be bought ahead of time so you can focus on your child when he or she comes home, and not on your shopping list.

Make a scrapbook.  This can either evolve into your child’s Lifebook once he or she arrives, or be a great addition to your child’s Lifebook.  Looking through the book and seeing how anxious the family was to find just the right child to join their family can help an older child to feel more secure in the family and begin bonding with them.

Getting on the Same Page With Your Spouse Before Older Child Adoption

Submitted by JulieC on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 22:05

Before actually adopting, it is important for you and your spouse to be on the same page about the specifics of the child, or children that you will be adding to your family.  While you will be discussing these things during your foster training, it is a good idea to talk to each other about what you feel you can handle, and what you feel would be too much, outside of the classes as well. 

Those who are shy may have a hard time talking about their true desires in front of the class, or even in front of the social worker.  Discussing these things in the comfort and privacy of your own home until you hammer out what you do and do not want to pursue can help both parties to feel at ease and really explore their feelings and desires, without feeling forced to come up with an answer quickly, or feel on the spot and judged.

Navigating the Adoption Process

Submitted by JulieC on Fri, 08/15/2008 - 10:00

So you are pretty sure that you want to adopt, in fact deep down you know that you want to adopt, the only problem is how to get started. The adoption process can be quite overwhelming, especially when it comes to all of the choices that you have in the beginning. Before you even pick an agency you have to pick what type of agency you would like to work with. That’s right for those of you who were in the dark on this one, there are different types of agencies that handle adoptions; private, public, for profit, not for profit, or you could simply choose to do an independent adoption if your state allows it.

There is a ton of written information on the web describing all of the differences between each type of domestic adoption agency, however, not everyone retains information well when they read it, some prefer to see and hear, rather than to read and absorb. And for those out there who are interested in domestic adoption and struggling with the information input dilemma previously mentioned, have no fear, the answer is here!