"Always report the positive things first,” said the wise principal of the last high school where I taught ESL over two decades ago in preparation for parent - teacher meetings. Following that line of psychology, I’ll start my summary of 2009  with the good.

The good (and some great) things in my adoption blog world in 2009

People kept reading my blogs on Adoption Under One Roof and occasionally posting comments – ah, the wisdom in some of these comments is priceless.

More incredible people came into my life through blogging about adoption: adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, foster parents and good people with little or no connection to adoption.

By posting a novel in segments, I became friends with an intelligent, insightful and helpful woman who has taught me much about the “other side:”

Generous and brilliant bloggers continued to respond to my requests for guestblogs gaining nothing in return but a thank you and a link to their websites. These guestbloggers (and others who are recruited by Julia and Faith who I’ve tried to include in my list) contributed diverse opinions, important and useful information and some even made us laugh in the process.

So a huge thanks to these wonderful guestbloggers: Amy, David, Dee, Eva, Janine, Jeanette, Jennifer, John, Lee, Melanie, Melinda, Melissa,  Michael, Patricia, Paula, Scraps, Snafu Suz, Suki, and Suzanne.

One of the poop nuggets often dragged out by those opposed to international adoption is that western families hoping to bring a child into their fold prompt abductions from birth families in poor countries.

That this sometimes substantiated, but often not, allegation misses the point is clear to anyone who spends time in poverty stricken places, as child abandonment and lots of other nasty stuff are facts of life when disease, starvation, war and other realities abound.

As this from the BBC illustrates, there is a side to this coin, as well, one that is never mentioned while adoption-bashing: bad people stealing children for profit is not an adoption issue, nor is it adoption-driven, but a crime that carried out all the time without international adoption having a thing to do with it.

In China, a country that has made international adoption more and more difficult as it touts its ability to keep its house in order, thousands of children are being kidnapped and sold to Chinese families in need of boys to fill their ancestral obligations.

Worldwide there are an estimated 15 million children under the age of 18 that have been orphaned as a result of AIDS with 11.6 million of these children living in sub-Saharan Africa. Their life becomes a nightmare when they have to care for a sick and dying parent and explodes into a full blown tragedy when these children are left to fend for themselves.

As the number of parents dying of AIDS increases, fewer children have anyone to care for them when their parents are dead. Members of the extended families who traditionally would be the safety net for these newly orphaned children are taxed to the limit taking in orphaned relatives. More children are left on their own, the eldest being responsible for the wellbeing of younger siblings.

In addition to the emotional trauma of watching their parents die and becoming orphans, these children rarely have access to a reliable source of food, a home to live in, education and health care. It is not uncommon for them to be stigmatized because their parents have died of AIDS and consequently denied access to services that may be available to other children. Even those children who are left land or assets by their parents rarely get anything as relatives quickly step in and grab whatever is left behind.

I met a young missionary family named the Lehman’s while on vacation last month. They live in Delhi India, where they serve that community on a large hospital complex where Dr. Jeff Lehman serves as a missionary family doctor. They are raising their own four young children there while treating the poor, the aids affected, the orphans, and other impoverished residents. Mrs. Leman says that infants, usually girls who are considered less important, are frequently left behind in the hospital. While her heart aches to take each one home, she cannot legally do so. Dr. Leman told us that the average income in the poor areas of India is about 50 cents a day. Seventy percent of the children born in India suffer from malnutrition.