Our guest blogger today has chosen to remain anonymous.

Meeting biological relatives face to face for the first time can certainly be a challenge for an adoptee. If you aren’t prepared to face reality it might be a bit of a rude awakening but yet still healing. All I knew before I connected with my half German and half English maternal half brother through letters and a few phone conversations years ago was that he was a manic depressive genius with an IQ of 160 who saw a shrink and took medication.

Turns out he is a gifted artist and musician like me and our grandfather; it is in our DNA. He told me our bio mother should have been on medication as she was depressed and abusive all her life. My bio mother may have become depressed even more after her divorce having to bring up a 10 year old boy alone and then getting pregnant and having to give me up for adoption. She ate alone as her anxiety made her gag and unable to swallow, something I also have inherited from her. I have anxiety and take medication for it. She died and my half brother disappeared and never contacted me again.

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

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Some birthmothers have tight, supportive families, some have families that pressure them to keep their child, some have families that pressure them to place their child, some have no family at all. Some adoptive parents want to adopt to bring a new dimension to their families, some have been trying to get pregnant for years and are coming from a place of pain and have very low thresholds for any more, some have families that support adoption, some don't, some embrace openness, some feel forced into it, some are so scared of it they don't know if they can even try. Some adoptees are brought up knowing all about their adoption, some are told when they are preschoolers, some are told when they are in high school, some are never told and find out by accident. Some counselors support open adoption, some do not. Some adoptive parents receive great counseling and guidance, some never receive any. Some birthmothers receive great counseling and are helped to look closely at both options in order to ensure there will be no regrets, some are only pushed towards adoption, some receive no counseling at all. We all have a story to tell. We often make assumptions about how others think and feel even within our own stories. Let's change that.

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

I recently read a draft of an adoption book a friend of mine is writing; it is a wonderful story from an adoptee's point of view on how she went searching for her birth family. What she found reminded me of the fact that everyone has a story. So often, we see the world through our own point of view and tell ourselves that these are the truths. But we must remember that what we see and what we know is only a part of the truth: it is our truth, but not necessarily that of others. In her story, her birthmother spent decades believing something was true about the birthfather. For his part, he spent decades thinking something was true about the birthmother. Yet, as my friend discovers, each was missing important information that would have completely changed what they thought to be true.

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

I often told my son's adoptive mother how much I loved her and was thankful she was a part of my life. But, like many things I've told her over the years, Kathy would already know. Back in 1985 I chose open adoption for my son. Being a birthmother has changed my life forever, and I know that becoming an adoptive parent changed Kathy's, too. We've traveled the road of adoption together, with respect and honesty. We've shared our hopes, our fears and our dreams for the boy we both love.

However, often adoptive parents do not get the chance to build this type of relationship with their child's birthmother. While most domestic adoptions are open, most children adopted from other countries are not. This disconnect from a child's beginnings can make it difficult for adoptive parents to provide answers their child will need as they grow and explore the issue of being adopted.

While a birthmother's experience after placement may be different in open versus closed adoptions, the process leading to the choice of adoption is much more likely to follow the same thread - love. Regardless of our place on this planet, birthmothers share the journey of facing a decision in a pregnancy and letting our love for our child lead the way. The individual circumstances may be very different from culture to culture, but ultimately we come to a place where we feel that what is best for our child is to have a life different than what we can provide and we choose adoption.

There are 10 things every birthmother thinks about, wishes for, and hopes for when placing their child for adoption. If you are in an open adoption, you may have heard some already; if not, they are important to know. They are: