Linny and her husband have adopted several times: Internationally, through the foster/adopt system, and transracially through domestic adoption. Five of these adoptions were infants; three were "older child" adoptions. They have known the joys and disappointments of adoption having placed one child into residential care, dissolving the adoption of another child, and having one child re-adopted. Linny and her husband have adopted one more time.......bringing a total of four at home....ages 8yrs to 1yr. Dissolution of an adoption…Linny …copyright 2010

The nausea in your stomach and emotional pain that continues to live in your soul each and every day you’ve considered this position has not gone away.

Adoption is forever"…or so you’ve been told and believed from the start.You’ve had other children who were adopted and living with them has been alright….so you figure---somehow---you’ve been a decent parent. You’ve tried everything in therapies, counseling, disciplines. Nothing has worked successfully for your child.

You promised to love and care for this child from the start. But now, the problem is much bigger than ‘be patient, stay steadfast and love will conquer all’….much bigger. The child’s now a danger---physically and/or sexually, and/or emotionally----to your other children. Whose rights do you now consider?

In the world of adoption, you‘re committing the ultimate sin. Just the thought that you could separate yourself from your child through dissolution is enough to make the best counselor turn red from anger.

But of course, most counselors have never had a sexual offender nor a child who’s capable of killing animals and children in their home.

Books on adoption don’t want to include this aspect of adoption, though it happens more often than you think. Society doesn’t want to even consider it, because it means that some children are head towards committing horrific crimes and lack a conscience. That doesn’t sit well with those who write "‘Fun Facts about Little Johnny" in the waiting children section of the DCF, nor make for good advertisement in the "Home For the Holidays" specials on TV. Much of this‘head in the sand thinking comes from those who have no idea what it’s like to ‘live the walk’. This isn’t a case that calls for simple solutions, some counseling with the family, and everyone walks away thinking, "Gee, the sun will come out tomorrow." Far from it.

Discussing sex with your child is not usually comfortable for the parent or the child. Older kids tend to laugh you off and tell you that they already know all about it, even if they do not know important facts. Discussing sex with a preteen seems premature after all; kids do not need that information in elementary school. We need to let them be kids for as long as possible. Unfortunately, that just is not true in the twenty-first century. By the first year in junior high school, 40 percent of adolescents may be having intercourse. This information is according to the (NHI) National Institute for Health. For most of them, their parents have not broached the subject of safe sex, condom use, relationships, and birth control. That makes their behaviors even more risky for STIs and unplanned pregnancies. The NHI is advising parents to begin open discussions with their children about sexual behavior between six and nine.

Living here in the Midwest, we know that snowstorms are inevitable. We have had a few flakes here and there over the past month. However, we have not had enough snow to cause major accidents, school closings, snowmen, or snow angels until last night that is. Schools all around the state announced their closings this morning, as did area colleges, driver’s training, sporting events, and church groups. In fact, extra-curricular activities began canceling scheduled events last night. Believe me, when you are 69 years old, parenting three teenagers and one elementary child you look forward to school days and extra-curricular activities. The first snow is beautiful of course, and helps get us all into the Christmas mood.

Are you wondering if your child is ready for school? If your child sometimes has difficulty learning, or mastering new skills, you may be wondering if your child has learning problems. These concerns may be at the forefront of your thoughts if your child is recently adopted and school age. When parenting older adopted childrenpsychological testing, and educational testing and assessments can become common items in your child’s yearly agenda. The school psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists tend to rattle off test and assessment names or acronyms. Then they place the commonly used abbreviated names, usually initials, on documents such as IEPs to support their educational or therapeutic recommendations for your child. Apparently, they think we all know exactly what those tests are, how they are given, and what they prove or disprove about the abilities of our children. The names of these test become familiar over the years, however I still have no idea what they really are. Therefore, we at Adoption Under One Roof are researching specific tests to help give our readers insight during IEPs and meetings with therapist. Today’s topic is Essential Skills Screener or ESS.