As I shared in this blog entry, the television show The Secret Life of the American Teenager is addressing the topic of teen pregnancy a second time. This time, it is worldly 17-year-old Adrian (played by Francia Raisa who is pregnant after having a one-night stand with naïve Ben Boykewich (played by Ken Baumann).

Last week’s episode had a great scene in which Adrian talked with her mother Cindy (played by Paola Turbay) about her pregnancy. Adrian has always been adamant that she does not want to have a baby as a teenager. She was taking birth control and had the condom break, but she still managed to get pregnant. While Cindy said that she would be supportive about whatever Adrian decides, she had an interesting perspective to share as a “could have been” birth mother.

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

Continued from here…

So yes, I still feel the pain. I still grieve those possibilities, I still remember and feel how hard it was to let it all go that day. But after I've let this in again, cried, and let it all go, I start to remember the days, and years since. How my Dad pushed me to go on. How I did. Making a life for myself, striving to become someone that someday, when we met again, my son would be proud of. How I got the opportunity to be a Mom, build a family, be loved and have someone to share it all with. I understand that the life I had since that day would not have occurred if I had not made the choice I did. My path would have taken a turn, and would not be what it is now.

Tina Tyra has been a facilitator since 1991, with a background in the medical and legal fields before that. While working in Labor and Delivery for 5 years, she was trained as a neo-natal bereavement counselor. Having had her own pregnancy losses - including a late term fetal demise - she felt compelled to help families cope with the aftermath of losing a baby. She now believes that this was no accident. This experience has helped her to understand the aching empty arms of a birth mother and the grief of a family who has suffered the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or potential child due to infertility. Dr. Suess said it best..."A person is a person -- no matter how small". A woman who gives birth, whether in her heart or with her body, is no less a mother.

The agency wanted to have a place where birth mothers could go to air their feelings, share thoughts about placing, and fears. They felt that birth mothers should have a safe place to vent about anything and everything related to their placements or adoption plans.

Patricia Dischler is the author of "Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption", a speaker, child care professional and birthmother. Read more from Patricia here.

I am often asked by women considering the choice for adoption, and those who have recently relinquished: how long does the pain last? My answer often surprises them: Forever.

Let me explain. As I write this it is the morning of my son's 25th birthday. I had just talked to him at length last night about his hopes of buying a new restaurant this year, getting married, and more. But today, after my morning jog, I sat on the front steps of my house, looked out at the beautiful valley that was getting greener even as I looked at it, the morning sunrise putting a glow even on the freshly plowed fields of brown soil, and I cried. I cried and I mourned, remembering that other beautiful, sunny spring morning 25 years ago when my son was born. I remembered the moments before his birth, when the pain was immense and I didn't understand it.