Dear Adoption Maharishi,

I am really bothered by the fact that adult adoptees are denied access to their original birth certificates in many states. I can think of no other group of people who are categorically denied access to their own records without having any say. How can this practice comply with the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment?

~ Frustrated

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

I am parenting a special needs child that I adopted. My child does not act or react like a typical child, so the tips in the parenting books simply do not work. I am getting frustrated with the judgments of other people (mostly parents) who have no idea what I live with at home. People will comment that my adopted child needs to hear the word “no” when I say, “No!!!!” frequently, sometimes at the top of my lungs. I am pouring so much energy into parenting this child, and yet well-meaning people judge me for doing a “bad” job. I would love for them to live just one day of my life with my adopted child and let them try to do a better job. How can I keep the judgments of other people from getting under my skin?

~ Feeling Judged

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

My husband and I are in the middle of our home study, and we have hit a snag. Our social worker does not believe that we have dealt with our infertility issues yet, but we have. How can I convince a social worker that I am over my infertility issues and am now ready to adopt a child?

~ Ready to Adopt

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

 

My daughter has been in state foster care for about six months. Every three months we go back to court to review the progress I have made towards the plan DHS gave me. I have to go for random drug test, attend parenting classes, go to counseling, and I had a psychological evaluation. I noticed the court document says this is a permanency planning hearing this time. Does that mean I will lose my daughter? I am really scared to go, thinking the worst.

Signed,

Desperate Mom

 

Dear Desperate Mom,

Court hearings are always stressful, add to that, your concern about your daughter’s future and your desperation is understandable. Typically, parents are allowed 12 months to work towards reunification with children placed in foster care. If you are complying with the case plan presented to you by DHS then chances are you will be given 12 months to achieve the goals. DHS workers and court officials like to see at least 50 to 75-percent compliance with the case plan. Less than that could result in termination of your parental rights sooner than 12 months. There are also a few other factors that can cause DHS to seek termination prior to the 12 month benchmark. Keep in mind though that a permanency planning hearing is not a termination hearing. DHS must request permission to have a termination hearing at a permanency planning hearing. So your parental rights will not be terminated at the currently scheduled hearing. If the court grants permission for a termination hearing, it will be held no less than 45 days after the permanency planning hearing.