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DAM

Dear Adoption Maharishi: Why is My Birth Child’s Family so Much Like My Own?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 08/18/2010 - 06:07
  • choosing parents for birth child
  • Crisis pregnancy
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Infant adoption
  • newborn adoption
  • Placing baby for adoption
  • placing mothers

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

I placed my baby for adoption when I was a teenager because I was being sexually abused by my father and wanted to “save” her. I chose the adoptive parents myself. I recently reunited with my birth child and was horrified to learn that she had been sexually abused by her adoptive father. I went through the agony of adoption to save my baby from abuse, but she still suffered anyhow. I am wracked with guilt over choosing an abuser to parent my baby. How could this have happened?

~ Distraught

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: Do Adoption Laws Violate the 14th Amendment?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 06:08
  • 14th amendment
  • Adoptee rights
  • Adoptees
  • Adoption advocacy
  • adoption birth certificates
  • adoption laws
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • denying adoptees access to birth certificates
  • Equal Protection Clause
  • Fourteenth Amendment
  • original birth certificate
  • sealing original birth certificate

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

I am really bothered by the fact that adult adoptees are denied access to their original birth certificates in many states. I can think of no other group of people who are categorically denied access to their own records without having any say. How can this practice comply with the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment?

~ Frustrated

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: What are the Child Abuse Statistics in the U.S.?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 06/23/2010 - 03:29
  • child abuse
  • child abuse numbers dropping
  • child abuse statistics
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • Traumatized children
  • U.S. child abuse statistics

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

Child abuse seems to be getting a lot more press than it used to. I was wondering if public awareness has had any effect on child abuse statistics. If it has, is it also affecting the number of kids in foster care?

~ Child abuse survivor

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: People Judging My Parenting of Special Needs Adopted Child

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 06/02/2010 - 06:47
  • Adoptive parenting
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • feeling judged about parenting
  • Foster adoption
  • nosy people
  • people judging my parenting
  • Special needs

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

I am parenting a special needs child that I adopted. My child does not act or react like a typical child, so the tips in the parenting books simply do not work. I am getting frustrated with the judgments of other people (mostly parents) who have no idea what I live with at home. People will comment that my adopted child needs to hear the word “no” when I say, “No!!!!” frequently, sometimes at the top of my lungs. I am pouring so much energy into parenting this child, and yet well-meaning people judge me for doing a “bad” job. I would love for them to live just one day of my life with my adopted child and let them try to do a better job. How can I keep the judgments of other people from getting under my skin?

~ Feeling Judged

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: My Adopted Foster Children Do Not Have Medicaid, Was This a Mistake?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 23:30
  • Adopted Foster Children
  • Continuing Medicaid After Adoption
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Medical Subsidy
  • Special needs
  • Support Subsidy
  • Title IVe
  • Traumatized children

 

 

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

We provided foster care for two brothers, then adopted them when their parents’ rights were terminated. We were told that our sons would be eligible for adoption support subsidy, but not ongoing Medicaid. Now that our boys are older, they have serious mental health issues caused by early abuse, neglect, and exposure to drugs and alcohol before birth. We recently found out that a sibling, adopted by another family has Medicaid. Do you think DHS made a mistake? Is there a way for us to get Medicaid started now?

Signed,

wondering

 

Dear Wondering,

Whether or not a foster child or children are eligible for ongoing Medicaid after adoption depends on their "Title IVe" status. It seems to be a very complicated formula that no DHS worker has ever been able to completely explain, but I can give you some insight into the formula. Eligibility has to do with whether or not a parent is employed at the time the child originally enters foster care but that isn't the only factor. For example, Our daughter, adopted at 9 years old was not eligible for ongoing Medicaid after adoption because her legal guardian prior to entering foster care was employed. However, she became Title IVe eligible because she had a psychological diagnosis given during her time in foster care, because DHS ordered a psychological evaluation.

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: How Can I Convince My Social Worker My Infertility is Over and I am Ready to Adopt?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 06:24
  • adoption after infertility
  • Adoption basics
  • Am I ready to adopt a child?
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • grieve infertility
  • Home Study
  • infertility
  • over infertility
  • ready to adopt

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

My husband and I are in the middle of our home study, and we have hit a snag. Our social worker does not believe that we have dealt with our infertility issues yet, but we have. How can I convince a social worker that I am over my infertility issues and am now ready to adopt a child?

~ Ready to Adopt

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: Is Adoption the Right Thing to Do?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 03/31/2010 - 07:32
  • Adoption basics
  • Am I ready to adopt a child?
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

My wife and I are unable to become pregnant, and now she wants to adopt a child. Is adoption the right thing to do?

~ Unsure

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: What Will Happen at a Permanency Planning Hearing for My Daughter?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Thu, 03/18/2010 - 22:22
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Foster care
  • Permanency Planning Hearing
  • Termination of Parental Rights Hearing

 

 

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

 

My daughter has been in state foster care for about six months. Every three months we go back to court to review the progress I have made towards the plan DHS gave me. I have to go for random drug test, attend parenting classes, go to counseling, and I had a psychological evaluation. I noticed the court document says this is a permanency planning hearing this time. Does that mean I will lose my daughter? I am really scared to go, thinking the worst.

Signed,

Desperate Mom

 

Dear Desperate Mom,

Court hearings are always stressful, add to that, your concern about your daughter’s future and your desperation is understandable. Typically, parents are allowed 12 months to work towards reunification with children placed in foster care. If you are complying with the case plan presented to you by DHS then chances are you will be given 12 months to achieve the goals. DHS workers and court officials like to see at least 50 to 75-percent compliance with the case plan. Less than that could result in termination of your parental rights sooner than 12 months. There are also a few other factors that can cause DHS to seek termination prior to the 12 month benchmark. Keep in mind though that a permanency planning hearing is not a termination hearing. DHS must request permission to have a termination hearing at a permanency planning hearing. So your parental rights will not be terminated at the currently scheduled hearing. If the court grants permission for a termination hearing, it will be held no less than 45 days after the permanency planning hearing.

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: Should I Mention Infertility in Dear Birth Mom Letter?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 13:21
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • dear birth mom letters
  • Home Study
  • Infant adoption
  • infertility

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

My husband and I have completed our home study to adopt an infant. The next step is to write a “Dear Birth Mom” letter. Should we mention infertility in the Dear Birth Mom letter?

~ Hoping to Adopt

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
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Dear Adoption Maharishi: Why Do Special Schools Ask About Adoption on the Application?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Wed, 02/17/2010 - 13:34
  • adoption and school
  • Adoptive family
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Learning Disabilities
  • Special needs
  • special schools for learning disabilities

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

My adopted child has learning disabilities, so my husband and I are looking into a private school that specializes in working with children with learning disabilities. I was surprised that the first page of the application asked if the child was adopted and, if so, whether he was aware of his adoption. Are learning disabilities really that common in adopted children? Why do you think the application asked this question?

~ Curious

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