One unfortunate reality of child abuse and other forms of trauma is that it follows you throughout the rest of your life. Yes, an abused foster or adopted child can work through therapy and live a much more fulfilling life than he or she would have lived otherwise, but the past is never fully just “the past” never to be heard from again.

I faced this reality just yesterday. My son’s attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) doctor dropped off the face of the earth, forcing us to have to find another doctor. Because of the medications he is taking, his primary care physician did not feel comfortable treating his ADHD, so we found another child psychiatrist through a referral. I like her and believe she will do a good job.

Of course, the first meeting about getting to know my son, and the dynamic of his family is an important part of this. I cannot explain the dynamic of my marriage without explaining the dynamic of the changes from before to after therapy.