Death

Should US Foster Children be Fostered in Other Countries?

Submitted by JulieC on Thu, 04/23/2009 - 23:58

 Five years ago, little Adrianna was beaten to death after being placed in Mexican foster care by the Oregon Department of Human Services. The move was made to ensure that Adrianna stayed with biological family members,rather than be adopted by non-family in the U.S.

-source

This article caught my eye with all the talk that has been going on here about children

being placed out of state and the lack of communication that is involved with the process.  If you click the link to read the article, you will discover among other things, that the biological mother of the child warned social workers that the family members in Mexico were abusive, however seeing as how she was hooked on meth at the time, social workers apparently didn’t take her as a credible source and shipped the little girl out of the country in order to keep her in her biological family.

The goal of social services is always reunification, they desire to keep biological families together; but is that goal truly a beneficial one when the biological family members are just as much of a stranger to the child as any other potential adoptive family would be? 

This little girl grew up in Oregon.  She did not have extended contact with the people that she went to live with, and her mother voiced her preference for Adrianna to be placed with a US family instead of her husband’s family in Mexico—where Oregon officials had no way to supervise or check on her.  Mexican authorities were notified of the abuse, yet nothing ever came of it and within months five year old Adrianna was dead.

Dear Adoption Maharishi: Should I tell my Child his Birthmother Just Passed Away?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 00:01

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

Our 7 year old son’s birthmother has just passed away, and we are unsure if we should tell him now, or wait until he is older.  We talk about her a lot, and now really don’t know what to say.  Please help, we need to figure something out and we could really use some guidance.

-Grieving

Dear Grieving,

 

First and foremost, everyone here at Adoption Under One Roof would like to extend our deepest and most sincere sympathies for your loss.  Dealing with the death of a family member is never easy, especially when children are involved. 

As with so many other emotionally heavy issues in adoption, it is best to be honest with your child with age appropriate information, rather than waiting until he or she is much older, and springing the entire story in detail on him.  Death is complicated and hard for adults to speak about no matter what the circumstances are; it’s ok that you do not know quite what to say, or how to say it.

Your son should be told that his birthmother has died.  Do not tell him that she is “sleeping,” or “going on a long journey/ trip.”  Young children do not understand these metaphors, and can become terrified of going to bed at night or traveling expecting death to be waiting for them.  If it was a sudden death, explain to your son that this is very rare.  If it was a violent death, do not tell him of the details until he is older.  If she was sick, tell your son the name of the disease that she had, simply saying she “got very sick” can send him into a panic the next time someone comes down with the flu.

Only A Year After Adoption, Girl Dies of Cancer

Submitted by JulieC on Fri, 04/04/2008 - 20:27

Only a year after 8 year old Krista Ruthanne had a bedside adoption ceremony due to being too weak to get to the courthouse, the brave and loving child lost her battle to cancer. 

Saying Goodbye: Coping Skills

Submitted by JulieC on Fri, 03/21/2008 - 13:40

My husband and his sister left today, we had to unexpectedly cut our visit short so that they two of them could hop into the car and drive about 14 hours to get to a funeral of a friend of theirs.  Due to circumstances surrounding the death, we were expecting the funeral for this friend to no

Adoption News: Utah Mom Charged With Killing Adopted Child, N.J. Leave Bill Advances

Submitted by VirginiaC on Sat, 03/15/2008 - 18:03

 

NewspapersA Utah woman has been charged with murdering a toddler adopted from Russia. According to The Salt Lake Tribune, Kimberly Emelyantsev was charged with one count of first-degree murder in the March 7 death of a 14-month-old boy named Nikolai. Citing police and court records, the newspaper said an autopsy found the child had died from a skull fracture caused by blunt-force trauma. 

Both the woman and her husband, whom the newspaper named as Fyodor Emelyantsev, were also charged with child abuse for allegedly starving a second child they adopted from Russia, a four-year-old boy. According to the newspaper, the child had been admitted to a Salt Lake hospital three times since he was adopted in December, each time suffering from malnutrition and dehydration. The younger child was adopted in February.