Our guestblogger today is Dee Thompson, a paralegal and writer who lives in Atlanta. She adopted her daughter Alesia from Russia in 2004, at age 13. She had met Alesia when her choir sang at the orphanage in 2003. She adopted her son Michael from Kazakhstan in April 2007, when he was 10. [Dee wrote a book called Jack's New Family, to help Michael make the transition to an American family. It's in Russian and English. Available on Amazon.]. Michael was beaten by a gang of boys at age 5 and left to die. He lost his right hand due to frostbite. Both children are now healthy and happy. Dee writes a blog called “The Crab Chronicles,” to give the world a picture of her family and encourage people, by example, to adopt older kids.

Part II

Yesterday’s anecdote illustrated the history of many children placed in orphanages in Russia and Eastern Europe. It’s a compilation of many stories I have heard about different children. Lack of care, insecurity, exposure to adults who are drunk or stoned – these are common to all neglected children.

Older children, even those who were placed in the orphanage as a baby, live on survival mode. They live in constant fight or flight stress mode. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically.

Once an older child is adopted and comes home, parents often think, “They should be so happy and grateful to be here! This child can finally relax, and be loved. I took them out of poverty and now they have a real chance at a good life!”

Their newly adopted child has no idea of those expectations. All the child knows is that everything is unfamiliar. They are scared. The new parents usually don’t know their language, so they can’t even say how scared they are, or what’s scary. Their thoughts are more along the lines of: Who are these people? Why did they adopt me? Can I trust “Mom” and “Dad”? When are they going to leave me? When are they going to get drunk? Nobody really wants older kids they want babies – so what’s going on here?! I need to get as much as I can, so when they leave me I will be OK!

Jack's New Family author: Dee Thompson asin: 1934216046

Our guestblogger today is Dee Thompson, a paralegal and writer who lives in Atlanta. She adopted her daughter Alesia from Russia in 2004, at age 13. She had met Alesia when her choir sang at the orphanage in 2003. She adopted her son Michael from Kazakhstan in April 2007, when he was 10. [Dee wrote a book called Jack's New Family, to help Michael make the transition to an American family. It's in Russian and English. Available on Amazon.]. Michael was beaten by a gang of boys at age 5 and left to die. He lost his right hand due to frostbite. Both children are now healthy and happy. Dee writes a blog called “The Crab Chronicles,” to give the world a picture of her family and encourage people, by example, to adopt older kids.

Part I

You are 5 years old. You live with your mama. Your daddy is never there. Mama leaves you alone every day, for hours. You don’t know where she goes. You don’t know when she will be back. When she comes back she is often drunk.

Before she leaves, she turns on the television and sits you down in front of it. Sometimes she gives you a little vodka in your cup of juice, so you will fall asleep.

Your apartment has no bathroom. That’s a dirty room down the hall with a hole in the floor. It always stinks. There are scary people there a lot. A lot of times you use a bucket.

You are always hungry. There is never enough food for you. You have learned, though, that crying does no good, so you rarely cry. You often sleep, to forget the hunger.

You don’t bathe every day. You bathe perhaps once a week. The water is cold. You hate it.

You learn to sneak around. Sometimes you go outside to the dumpster and search it for food. You eat whatever you find on the ground. You eat insects you can catch and put in your mouth.

You are not hugged and kissed. You are not given nice toys. You do not know your numbers or letters, or your address.

Your world is a cold, scary place. There is a lot of screaming. Sometimes you get hit in the face.

Finally, you are taken away to the orphanage.

Our guestblogger today is Dee Thompson, a paralegal and writer who lives in Atlanta. She adopted her daughter Alesia from Russia in 2004, at age 13 She had met Alesia when her choir sang at the orphanage in 2003. She adopted her son Michael from Kazakhstan in April 2007, when he was 10. [Dee wrote a book called Jack's New Family, to help Michael make the transition to an American family. It's in Russian and English. Available on Amazon.]. Michael was beaten by a gang of boys at age 5 and left to die. He lost his right hand due to frostbite. Both children are now healthy and happy. Dee writes a blog called “The Crab Chronicles,” to give the world a picture of her family and encourage people, by example, to adopt older kids.

The 2008 Amputee Coalition of America conference was held this year June 18-21, 2009 at the Renaissance Waverly Hotel in Atlanta, GA. There were many attendees. I was not able to attend the entire convention, however I attended the session on Sunday afternoon for people interested in adopting a child with a limb difference. There were as many parents there as prospective parents. It was a good discussion, though.

I was a little late but the discussion was informal. The folks considering adoption were all people with limb differences. I took my son Michael and spoke about his adoption and adjustment to life in America. I tried to answer some questions, too.

Our guestblogger today is Dee Thompson, a paralegal and writer who lives in Atlanta. She adopted her daughter Alesia from Russia in 2004, at age 13 She had met Alesia when her choir sang at the orphanage in 2003. She adopted her son Michael from Kazakhstan in April 2007, when he was 10. [Dee wrote a book called Jack's New Family, to help Michael make the transition to an American family. It's in Russian and English. Available on Amazon.]. Michael was beaten by a gang of boys at age 5 and left to die. He lost his right hand due to frostbite. Both children are now healthy and happy. Dee writes a blog called “The Crab Chronicles,” to give the world a picture of her family and encourage people, by example, to adopt older kids. Her struggles are similar, yet different to most families who adopt older children from orphanages.  

I worry sometimes about my 17-year-old daughter Alesia [adopted from Russia at age 13] and school friends telling her things. She is still so naive, unsophisticated, and trusting. I've had to tell her over and over that when she turns 18 next year she will still have 2 years of high school and she will need to live here with us. Friends at school and possibly even some ignorant adults tell her things like "Oh when you're 18 you can do what you want. You'll be an adult." I just want to slap people like that because they do not understand.