Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website in segments on Mondays and Fridays. © 2006 All rights reserved

Chapter Twenty- Eight - The Final Chapter - “A Family Found” (continued from here)

It was Wednesday September 16th when I Googled my Uncle Bob for the heck of it and found an article about him in the WinonaDailyNews.com.

Bob Franke once ran the CB&Q Hudson 4000 steam locomotive engine in 1941 after a short stint as a substitute teacher. “I loved running an engine,” the 91-year-old said,” “I’d do it again, I’m sure, if I was a younger man.”

As if by magic I went back in time and was that little girl who upon hearing the train whistle dropped everything she was doing to sprint out to the front porch of her grandfather’s house in South Pasadena to greet and wave at the smiling conductors who always waved back at her as the train passed by.

It was now Saturday September 19, 2009 and was finally finishing the story of my journey home. I woke up at 4am with the old depression tugging at me and the tears began to flow. Why was I so sad? Was it more grief from my reunion? I found myself as before needing to be alone in my car to drive through the country as I did to the beach in California to cry and scream like I used to do when these sad feelings and raw emotions became overwhelming. Was I sad that my story was over and I knew I would never meet my Uncle Bob. Think of the good not the bad kept running through my mind. Be thankful for what you have and don’t obsess over the love of the people you don’t have I kept telling myself.

Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website in segments on Mondays and Fridays. © 2006 All rights reserved

Chapter Twenty- Eight - The Final Chapter - “A Family Found” (continued from here)

“Gary was abused as well as a kid. He was never good enough and never as good as Dan. He stuttered and was humiliated by my dad for it. My mom left Gary behind when she left and took all of us. So he lived with my dad for a few months after. I guess it got really bad and my dad held a gun to his head, among other things... etc. He finally got in his car at age 23 or so and drove to CA. Been trying to prove his worth ever since. He has been thru hell and back. He is very successful, but not so happy. Strange stuff when I think back about it all, unbelievable that we survived it and lived to be somewhat functional people,” and I agreed.

How astounding for me to hear all of the family dysfunction in a matter of two days in between all the family happy reunion festivities. I was happy they were telling me about what they endured because it mirrored my life in many ways but I held in my feelings as best I could trying to take it all in realizing they were like me and all of us had been traumatized as children too. My bags were packed, the girls and their husbands loaded up the cars with the food for the brunch and we were off once again with kids in tow to Joan’s farm for more Franke festivities.

“We are building a big horse barn to board people’s horses and the girl who is renting the little house down our driveway is going to teach lessons, train horses and take care of the stables. You can come back anytime and ride if you want to,” she said while taking an oil painting off the wall to show me.

Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website in segments on Mondays and Fridays. © 2006 All rights reserved

Chapter Twenty- Eight - The Final Chapter - “A Family Found” (continued from here)

So I went over to Carolyn who was about 6’ tall to ask her to take off her shoe to see her feet. I put mine next to hers and mine looked so much smaller but we both had the longer second toe that looked like a baby’s finger. The girls had bigger feet I must say and were bigger boned and much stronger than I but there was no mistaking that we were related.

“You resemble us you know. Your looks, your eyes, you’re tall and lanky and I think you walk like the family with the long legs, long steps and your facial expressions when you laugh are similar to ours. You look like Carolyn as far as facial structure, and mannerisms in the way you use your hands and arms when you talk. You look a lot like Emmy Lou Harris,” Mary informed me.

The florist delivered the flower arrangements, the bar was set up with wine from a local winery, the tables were set with small purple and pink Adirondack chair centerpieces with a small vase of pink, blue and purple daisies sitting on the seat of the chair with a beautiful blue ribbon tied around the vase and the stage was set for an elegant wedding. By 4:30 in the afternoon the quests began to arrive. I placed a box of my best handmade art cards on the wedding gift table for Sue and Steve. Once the priest arrived the music began. Sue, the bride, a mezzo soprano first alto had some of her students sing accompanied by a flutist and electric keyboard player play as she walked down the grass path toward Steve, the handsome blonde haired blue eyed groom. It was just beautiful. Mary their mother was a very good musician as well who played the organ and accordion I overheard someone sitting behind me say.

Our Guestblogger today is Marjorie Shaw an adoptee in a closed domestic adoption. This is the autobiography of her search for her lost self as an adoptee in a closed adoption. We are delighted that she has given us the opportunity to post her manuscript on our website in segments on Mondays and Fridays. © 2006 All rights reserved - Marjorie Shaw

Chapter Twenty- Eight - The Final Chapter - “A Family Found” (continued from here)

“Melinda, I called Diane and Rich who would be your second cousins in LaCrosse. She is open to meet with you if it works out when and if we go there. She has some genealogy too and says your father Jim’s kids are far away. I don’t think she knows. She said Dorothy, Jim’s wife, not your mother, didn’t know about your for a long time. Maybe that’s why Jim was hiding you and in denial,” Barb wrote in an email.

Today I stared at the pictures Judy posted on her Facebook album of all nine Franke girls at Sue’s wedding shower. There were lots of close ups of a close knit handsome group of smiling Franke women. I clicked zoom in and out so many times to study them for similarities and saw we have the same teeth and smile, similar bone structure, body type, we dress the same way, wear flip flops, decorate our houses the same, have the same crazy sense of humor and even put pictures of our dogs dressed in funny costumes on Facebook. All of a sudden I was going from the sadness of never having a sister or daughter or an authentic identity to the joy of having nine female cousins and three male cousins and began to memorize their names and faces.

“Sue was a golfer, Connie was the big runner until she got hit by a car riding her bike. She wrecked her knee and had a replacement last summer. Carolyn was a great athlete too, basketball and track. Most of the girls were basketball players or runners. Joan was a great track/field events athlete and a great basketball player. Diana was a volleyball player at Mankato in MN. Barb of course, out-did us all. I was mediocre at all sports and just didn't have the confidence, skills, etc. Not sure what the deal was, but I just couldn't compete with the rest of them. The boys were very good athletes, but my dad never let them go out for sports, (barely let them go to school), he wanted them home to help on the farm. We are all still active, but not so much into sports. Some of us are into golf, but mainly just me,” Judy revealed in an email the morning I was leaving for the airport.