It seems that those who survived less than ideal childhoods go on to make some pretty amazing parents, and some especially spectacular adoptive parents. This is due to their ability to not only sympathize with their adopted child, but to empathize with their adopted child, and understand their pain of abuse and/or neglect on a very personal level. It is only those parents whom have taken the time to dig up, let loose, examine, and heal their own past wounds who will be able to handle parenting an older adopted child.

Adults, that have not taken the time to heal whatever remaining emotional scars they still carry with them from childhood, can and often do appear to be stable, happy, and well functioning people… for the most part. However, without facing, coming to terms with, accepting, and releasing their own long pent up emotional pain, it is only a matter of time before an older adopted child finds a trigger or two and unleashes the emotional floodgates of their adoptive parent(s.)

Traumatized children are expert button pushers, and even the most skilled adult at hiding past pains, will very quickly find themselves overreacting to situations that the child has created. As the child will almost instantly pick up on the adults hot buttons and what makes them tick, and they will then proceed to push every one of them continuously.

A parent who has healed the past trauma and negative energies, will be able to see through the child’s behaviors. Recognize what he or she is doing, and steer right around it, or at the very least know not to get caught up in it 

A parent who is not yet emotionally healed and healthy however, will easily be sucked into the child’s games. Then play them for quite some time before ever realizing exactly what it is they are engaged in.