In the past couples of weeks, I have been through two “blow ups” with groups of friends. It must just be the time of year or something in the water. (Just to be clear – I did not cause any of the drama, and any of the people involved would tell you that.) As a person who has been through trauma as a child, I tend to gravitate toward other people who themselves have been through trauma during childhood. Of course, all of us bring our childhood baggage into the mix in our relationships.

In both cases, the “blow ups” were caused by misunderstandings, and the drama and hurt feelings could have been avoided if people has just expressed their feelings from the get-go. Instead of saying, “This situation is not working for me,” they held their feelings back. Then, when they finally did express their feelings, they came out much stronger and more hurtfully, causing emotional damage that nobody saw coming. That is not okay.

Traumatized children need to be taught how to talk about their feelings.