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FAS

CPS Investigation: The 30-Day Decision

Submitted by FosterMommy on Sat, 08/14/2010 - 19:57
  • CPS 30-Day Decision
  • CPS complaint
  • CPS Investigation
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Special needs

 

If you haven’t been following the CPS investigation, you may want to read what happened prior to the 30-day decision to catch up. (Begin here; “ CPS Investigation: The Accusations”). The accusations were followed by individual interrogations of family members. (You can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Interrogations.”.)  Then reality hit, (You can read about it here; “ CPS Investigation: Reality and the Silence”.) After reality hit, so did the devastation over the horrible, incredible loss. (If you want to try to understand you can read here; “ CPS Investigation: The Devastation”.) Then the family waited for the 30 days to pass. (Read about that here; CPS Investigation: The Waiting) On exactly the 30th day, in the afternoon of course, the CPS worker finally called. She informed the mother that she had completed her interviews of collateral witnesses and found the family guilty. The mother, quite shocked, asked why the worker had never requested information from the psychiatrist who has worked with the allegedly abused children for six years.

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CPS Investigation: The Waiting

Submitted by FosterMommy on Wed, 07/21/2010 - 13:53
  • Adoptive parenting
  • CPS complaint
  • CPS Investigation
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • Special needs
  • Teens
  • Traumatized children

You’ll remember that we were awaken on a Tuesday morning by the arrival of a CPS worker with a list of accusations (you can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Accusations”). The accusations were followed by individual interrogations of every family member. (You can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Interrogations.”.) After that the family waited for weeks to hear the outcome as the reality of the situation hit home. (You can read about it here; “ CPS Investigation: Reality and the Silence”.) After reality hit, so did the devastation over the horrible, incredible loss of a close friend and the family’s relationship with her young children. Some found it hard to believe the devastation considering no one was removed from the family home by the CPS worker. (If you want to try to understand you can read about it here; “ CPS Investigation: The Devastation”.) The family was still waiting for some kind of information from the CPS worker.

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CPS Investigation: Reality and the Silence

Submitted by FosterMommy on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 21:20
  • Adoptive parenting
  • CPS Investigation
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Special needs
  • Traumatized children

 

First the CPS worker arrived unannounced at the family home with a list of accusations (you can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Accusations”) and then she began the interrogations (you can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Interrogations”.) Once she finished the interrogations, she left, as suddenly as she had appeared, alone. Shortly thereafter, the reality of the situation hit home. The reality was that someone very close to the family had viciously attacked them and on a very personal level. While the CPS worker had left alone, the results could have been very different, considering the severity of the charges. In fact, when the mother first heard the accusations she thought the day would end in one of three ways. One, she would be taken to jail. Two, the children would be removed from the home. Three, the teenager daughter would be taken to a “safe home.” So what were they all to think now that the worker had left alone?

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CPS Investigation: The interrogations

Submitted by FosterMommy on Tue, 07/06/2010 - 23:29
  • CPS Investigation
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • Special needs
  • Teens

After the CPS worker finished reading the list of accusations (you can read them here; “ CPS Investigation: The Accusations”) she began the interrogations. She looked expectantly at the husband and wife waiting for a reply. Feeling overwhelmed by such a long list of accusations, and betrayed by obviously someone close to the family, they began. Since the list was not in front of them, they did not actually respond to everything.

The girls are not treated the same as the boys. (Correct, they are not. Their issues, partly due to prenatal drug and alcohol exposure, and partly due to older child adoption through foster care, are completely different, requiring different parenting. )

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CPS Investigation: The Accusations

Submitted by FosterMommy on Mon, 07/05/2010 - 21:19
  • Adoption disruption
  • Child Protective Service
  • CPS
  • CPS Investigation
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • investigate abuse allegations
  • Special needs
  • Traumatized children

The morning brought a greeting from a CPS (Child Protective Service) worker. Only this time, she was not delivering a foster child to the door. She came to investigate allegations someone had made. She made it clear that she needed to speak to both parents. As the children left the room she began to read through a long list of allegations. (Note: These are allegations that were given to CPS from an outsider, not an actual list of occurrences in the home. The “girls” refers to two teen daughters, adopted from the foster care system during their elementary years.)

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Danger Signs of Stress Parenting Special Needs Adopted Child

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 21:48
  • Caregiver Stress
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Parenting Stress
  • Special needs
  • Traumatized children

Outsiders may recognize how stressful caring for an aging spouse with Alzheimer, or a terminally ill parent can be, and they may offer some support. For example, my church’s families frequently provide meals or help clean their houses. Unfortunately, nobody seems to recognize how stressful it is to care for special needs children except other families caring for special needs children. While we do occasionally offer respite care for each other, the time is usually used to take another child for services. When I read HeathDay News’ headline, “Caregivers may be prone to physical and emotional stress” the first thought I had was caregivers of special needs children. Of course, I am sure their intent was the temporary caregiver position of caring for a declining adult. For parents of special needs children, there may be decades ahead of care. That thought alone can increase the stress level.

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I Must Be the Worst Parent in the World Because-I Screamed at My Child

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Thu, 06/10/2010 - 22:33
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • I Screamed at My child
  • Peeing while screaming
  • Special needs
  • Support Group
  • Terrible Mom
  • Traumatized children
  • Worst Parent ever

Ever Made an Ass of yourself?

Conversations I had over the past week with some of my friends who are also parenting special needs adopted children gave me the inspiration for a new mini-series, “I Must Be the Worst Parent in the World Because…” While blogging about adoption over the years, my honesty about my real-life special needs parenting, has gained me numerous new friends. You have no idea how many people have emailed me to say,

“Thank you for sharing that experience, you made me feel normal again. I thought I must be the worst parent ever when I did that. It was a huge relief to know that I wasn’t the only one who had really blown it at times.”

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Real Life With an Adopted Russian 8-year-old With FAS

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Sun, 04/25/2010 - 22:42
  • alcohol consumption during pregnancy in Russia
  • FAS
  • Russia
  • Russian orphans have FAS
  • sent their 7-year son with FAS back to Russia
  • Special needs

Many are passing judgment on the family who recently sent their 7-year son with FAS back to Russia after 7-months of parenting him. The papers have indicated that the child’s problems were just too much for the family to bear. Not surprisingly, the media attention has brought several Russian adoption horror stories to the surface. Apparently, alcohol consumption during pregnancy in Russia is a huge problem. According to the press, many children in orphanages are presented to adoption agencies and families as being healthy and on target, but are not. In fact, according to the article cited, most children presented for adoption have FAS. One family in particular, the Harshaws, were interviewed recently by the Virginian Pilot, the local newspaper of Virginia Beach about their 8-year-old Russian born son with severe FAS.

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Is Your Adopted FASD Child Solely Reward Oriented

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 18:45
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • potentially psychopathic children
  • psychopathic personality disorder
  • Special needs
  • Traumatized children

Wow! I have to tell you that when I came upon this article by Michael G. Conner, Psy.D I felt chills run up my spine.

“Without help, potentially psychopathic children will become adults who never remain attached to anyone or anything for long. They may end up living a "predatory" lifestyle, feeling little or no regret, and having little or no remorse - except when they are caught or about to be locked up. A psychopath is not necessarily a bad person. But they are prone to have problems with society, rules, expectations and relationships.”

He is describing our FASD children. Which leads me to believe that prenatal exposure to alcohol must damage the part of the brain that we layman call, “the conscience.” While the simplistic definition reveals that a psychopath is a person who lacks empathy, yet can be charming, manipulative,

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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Diaries: Adopted FASD Child You Better CYA

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 20:35
  • FAE
  • familial history of mental illness
  • FAS
  • FAS
  • FASD
  • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Diaries
  • Learning Impaired
  • Resources
  • Special needs

If you have adopted a child with FASD, FAE, FAS, or a familial history of mental illness, you need to CYA from day one. Some children seem unaffected by prenatal exposure to drugs and/or alcohol. If that describes your adopted child consider yourself fortunate. However, if your child, like so many other FAS children has learning disabilities, lies and steals without showing real remorse get proof. If repeated disciplinary measures do not modify your child’s behavior get proof. If your adopted child does not seem to learn from mistakes but consistently makes the same bad choices then you need help, don’t wait. While therapy and counseling do not seem to help modify behavior with FAS children, you need mental health professionals to protect you and your family. If you do not want your child on medication, that is your choice, but take your child to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis anyway. Are you offered in-home mental health services, take them, and keep them until your adopted child graduates from high school and moves out. Do you think that because your child came home as an infant you do not need to worry, think again. Do you think that because you raised your child in a religious home, and your child attends private school, you do not need to worry, think again, and CYA..

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