When your child was diagnosed as LD, learning disabled, did you give up dreams of sending your child off to college? College or higher education may still be an option for your learning disabled adult child if you do some research. Not everyone who attends college receives a degree; some receive training, or certifications in trades. These certifications typically require less classroom time and some offer a lot less reading which appeals to many adults with LD. Some of the trades programs do not have set classroom hours. This flexibility may suit an LD adult who struggles with keeping track of time and schedules.

On Their Own: Creating an Independent Future for Your Adult Child with Learning Disabilities and ADHD: A Family Guide author: Anne Ford,John-Richard Thompson asin: 1557047596

On Trauma Tuesday, I talked about a difficult topic: Trauma Tuesday: Orgasms during Rape and Sexual Abuse. See that blog entry for an explanation of how experiencing orgasms during rape and sexual abuse messes with a child’s head. In this blog entry, I am going to focus on how you, as the foster or adoptive parent, can help your abused adopted child heal the wounds that resulted from experiencing orgasms during sexual abuse.

1. Explain that having orgasms during rape or sexual abuse is normal.

Most adult survivors of sexual abuse are not aware that experiencing orgasms during sexual abuse is normal, so most abused children are not going to know this, either. Reassure your abused child that his body reacted just like anyone else’s body would have responded to sexual stimulation. He bears no shame in having experienced an orgasm while being sexually abused.

2. Tell your abused child that the sexual abuse was not her fault.

Even if the child experienced an orgasm with every single rape, the child was still not responsible for being raped.

When a child has been in foster care for 12 months the court needs to consider the long-term goals for a child’s future. During the 12-month review and permanency planning meeting foster care workers, the child’s lawyer, or the court can request a termination of parental (TPR) rights hearing. The court will make the decision whether to move ahead with the TPR by reviewing the evidence submitted over the previous 12 months, the parents’ progress towards their goals, and taking into consideration what is in the child’s best interest. Occasionally workers may request termination of parental rights at the initial or adjudication hearing if extenuating circumstances exist. If permission is denied, the court will revisit the topic of TPR every 90 days. Regular foster care is to be the short-term solution to family crisis, not the answer.

Today I am going to talk about a very difficult topic. Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I do not shy away from the tough topics. Today’s topic is definitely a tough one: orgasms during rape and sexual abuse. Most people don’t want to think about orgasms during rape and sexual abuse, much less talk about it, but you need to be aware that this happens if you are parenting a child who has been sexually abused.

The ugly reality is that most children who are sexually abused or raped on a regular basis experienced an orgasm, anywhere from one time to multiple times, while they were being sexually abused. As you can imagine, experiencing an orgasm while being abused is confusing at best to an abused child. It causes the child to question whether he really liked the abuse after all and whether the abuse was his fault.

You, as the adoptive or foster parent, need to know that experiencing an orgasm during rape or sexual abuse is both normal and common.

Over one million children under the age of five years and around seven million children under the age of 18 years have asthma, estimates The American Lung Association. Asthma is one of the leading causes of school absenteeism and childhood hospitalization. When asthma causes inflammation of the bronchial airways, they overreact. The result is an increase in mucus production, muscle contraction, and mucosal swelling. This produces symptoms of tightness in the chest, wheezing, and coughing. Special needs adoptive parenting of a child with asthma may be more common than you think. Children who have suffered trauma, sexual and/or physical abuse may have twice the average risk of developing asthma according to research recently completed in Puerto Rico.

When a foster child is part of an open foster care case the court must review the case every 90 days. Once the child has been in care for 12 months the hearing may progress to permanency planning. The court begins to consider the long-term goals for the foster child. The intent of regular foster care is to be the short-term answer to family crisis, not the permanent answer. Therefore, at the 12-month mark, the foster care workers in conjunction with the court must determine if it is in the child’s best interest to continue services to reunify, or change the permanency plan to adoption. Studies show that children, who age out of the foster care system at 18 or 19 without being adopted or returned to family members, do not cope well in adult society. Within 12 months, a family committed to the return of their children, should have accomplished all o r most of the goals in their case plan. A family who has not complied with at least half of the case plan is not showing the court that they want their children returned. The 12-month hearing is the first time a caseworker can typically request termination of parental rights TPR, unless extenuating circumstances exist.

A judge or magistrate must sign an order indicating that Child Protective Services can remove a child from a parental home. A child protective service worker or a police officer makes the initial request for removal and submits it to the judge or magistrate at any hour of the day or night. Once removal is authorized, the child is placed in temporary in foster care, relative care, or a juvenile facility. The temporary order provides the child with a safety net until an adjudication hearing can take place. The adjudication hearing must occur within 72 hours; however, that short amount of time typically does not allow the gathering of sufficient information to present a complete case before the judge. Nor has sufficient time elapsed to assign a foster care worker to the case. Therefore, at this initial adjudication hearing, an agreement is made to reschedule and the hearing is adjourned.

I am a big fan of the television show Samantha Who?, which stars Christina Applegate as a “bad girl” who got hit by a car, lost her memory, and is now a “good girl” trying to figure out who she is. In each episode, the amnesiac Samantha experiences a flashback in which she remembers being an incredibly self-centered and mean person. The Samantha today is starry-eyed and sweet. Trying to merge together who Samantha was with who Samantha is today is at the core of the show.

What does this have to do with adoption? If you are parenting an abused child, it has everything to do with it. While Samantha Who? is a comedy and not looking to “go deep,” it provides a wonderful representation of what it is like to deal with flashbacks.

Welcome to older child adoption when giving consequences to your child for the wrong behavior do not have the effect that the parents desire. Traumatized children do not respond to the disciplinary measures in ways that “normal” children respond. Yet, most of us stubborn parents continue to try, much to our own frustration. Of course, that results in a lot of negative interaction between the parents and child. Eventually, the relationship disintegrates to an antagonistic co-existence waiting for the eighteenth birthday. Although, some parents disrupt the adoption out of pure frustration and some place the children in out-of-home placements. Some parents figure it out, change their methods, and salvage the relationship.

Most people have heard of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). When they think of OCD, they think of an adopted child who must lock the door three times or keep the objects in her room in a particular order.

OCD is common in abused adopted children. OCD is an anxiety disorder, and abused children frequently struggle with deep levels of anxiety. One way that abused children manage their anxiety is through OCD symptoms. By controlling things that most people do not care about, they feel like they are taking control over their own lives. This is very important to an abused child whose life has been out of control.

One manifestation of OCD that many people are not aware of is called “hoarding.” Hoarding is when an abused adopted child must stockpile a whole bunch of a particular item. If anyone tampers with the stockpile, the abused child can become agitated to the point of having a panic attack.

I have an issue with hoarding pens.