An important part of adoptive parenting or foster parenting is helping the child understand the past. Sometimes you must even help an older adopted child recreate the past. A tool used in foster parenting is creating a lifebook for the child. You do not need to use an actual book called a lifebook. You can recreate the past using scrapbooks. In the past, we had children make drawings of people or places for which we did not have pictures. Another option is to cut some baby pictures out of a magazine that have similar coloring to the child to help fill the void. Obviously, the child helps do this, and the child knows that it is not an actual photo, but it represents the period of life that is missing. It is much easier now that there are so many scrapbooking supplies available to fill pages.

LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child author: Beth O'Malley asin: 0970183275

I strongly believe that every child old enough to communicate who enters foster should participate in professional therapy. While the foster parent provides for many of the child’s physical and emotional needs an additional outlet is necessary. The child may not be able to discuss true feelings about birth parents, foster care, or a possible adoption plan with a parent figure once the child begins to create an attachment to the foster parent. The foster child will not want to hurt the foster parents’ feelings and begins to feel a divided loyalty.

Find something special you can do one-on-one with each child you foster or adopt. There are children who never seem to get enough attention. You could spend the entire day, everyday, with just that one child and she would not seem to be satisfied. However, consistently giving each child some special time helps you get to know each other, and helps the bonding process. You do not need to spend a lot of money or do something extravagant to make a lasting impression. You may only be able to do something special with each child once a week, but try to be consistent.

Immerse your teenagers in sports if possible, team sports that is. Most foster children are delayed in their physical abilities from lack of exposure. Many were either not allowed or did not have access to equipment to run, climb, jump, or play sports. What better way is there to help your children catch up with peers physically then to immerse them in sports. I normally choose team sports such as soccer, floor hockey, or volleyball. When there is a team effort, with everyone playing at once, it is less obvious if one person is deficient. When the team wins, they receive praise from spectators and that includes the foster children. Therefore, their self-esteem is increased and this encourages them to make more effort during the next game. Before you know it, your teenager might actually be a good player.

In keeping with the team spirit, here at Ouradopt, Fostermommy has developed a theme day. When fostering and caring for teenage girls a foster parent soon learns to “get real.” Our teenagers usually arrive delayed in social and developmental areas. Because our foster children arrive in their teen years, we haven’t much time left to parent and prepare them for adulthood. Due to their lack of proper social exposure and expectations, foster parents need to be prepared to speak openly, directly, and without being judgmental about all bodily functions. Thus, I created the acronym FARTS. Teenagers need to participate in a wide variety of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization. What better way to help them catch up, then to immerse them in activities and social situations. What types of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization programs have the foster teenagers participated in over the years?

You may have noticed that all bloggers except Fostermommy have a theme day. In keeping with the team spirit, here at Ouradopt, the time has come for me to have a theme day as well. When fostering and caring for teenage girls a foster parent soon learns to “get real.” Teenagers need to participate in a wide variety of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization. Thus, I have created, Friday Activities, Recreational Therapy, & Socialization, FARTS. Each Friday, I will talk about introducing and exposing our teenagers to these items. Our teenagers usually arrive delayed in social and developmental areas. What better way to help them catch up, then to immerse them in activities and social situations. Because our foster children arrived in their teen years, we haven’t much time left to parent and prepare them for adulthood. Due to their lack of proper social exposure and expectations, foster parents need to be prepared to speak openly, directly, and without being judgmental about all bodily functions. I recently shared a menses episode with you, which is just one of the many discussions I have had over the years. What types of activities, recreational therapy, & socialization programs have the foster teenagers participated in over the years?