On my post Continued Contact with Abusive Birth Parents after Adoption, a reader left the following comment:

I am 41, and visiting my parents is always a draining experience. The dysfunctional patterns of my family that I worked so hard to overcome in my adult life still exist in theirs. When I go home it's like I enter that same world again and it's hard, really hard. I continue to see them because in my case the abuse was not that severe and I feel I can still have them in my life. But I definitely have to set boundaries and limit how often and how long I visit. The best thing I ever did for myself was to move 2 states away. The second best thing was getting therapy as an adult. - Snafu Suz at Continued Contact with Abusive Birth Parents after Adoption

Snafu Suz provides some good advice for people who continue to have relationships with dysfunctional people. I, too, did her Top Two things by moving two states away and entering into therapy.

Whether or not your adopted child should visit with abusive birth family, your reality might be that they must.