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guilt

Telling Your Sexually Abused Adopted Child: "It was NOT Your Fault"

Submitted by FaithA on Mon, 04/14/2008 - 07:35
  • abused child
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • guilt
  • sexually abused adopted child
  • shame
  • Traumatized children

Most sexually abused adopted children feel guilty and responsible for the abuses they suffered. This might not make much sense to a person who never suffered from sexual abuse. From the outside, it seems obvious that a child is never responsible for sexual contact with an adult. However, from the sexually abused adopted children's perspective, this is not obvious at all.

Feeling responsible for being sexually abused is an even bigger issue when the sexual abuse started at a young age. In my case, I was only a toddler when the sexual abuse began, so I learned from my earliest days that I did not have a say over how my body was treated. Unfortunately, this lack of boundaries carries over into all other relationships, so when other adult abusers demand sexual contact, the child puts up no fight and then feels guilty about it afterward.

I cannot tell you how many adult survivors of sexual abuse have told me that they were responsible for having a "sexual relationship" with an adult when they were just children.

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