healing from child abuse

Trauma Thursday: Traumatized Child and Healing Through Mantras

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 06/19/2008 - 13:57

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieCAny traumatized adopted child has internalized a number of negative messages. For example, an abusive or neglectful birth parent might have told the child that she wishes that the child had never been born. While this hurtful message might have been said only once, the traumatized adopted child has replayed this message in his own head about a thousand times. This one message might have spawned numerous other negative internal messages, such as, “I am worthless.”

Because the traumatized adopted child has “heard” these messages in his own head repeatedly, he has grown to believe them. Using mantras can be a powerful way to fight back.

A mantra is a positive message that a person chooses to say to himself repeatedly. In the same way that repeating a negative message can break down a traumatized adopted child’s spirit, repeating positive messages can build that spirit back up.

Trauma Tuesday: Dismantling the Traumatized Adopted Child’s Triggers

Submitted by FaithA on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 15:29

Wasp nest (c) Lynda BernhardtIn my last blog entry, Trauma Tuesday: Can a Traumatized Adopted Child’s Triggers be Dismantled?, I stated that it is possible for a traumatized adopted child to dismantle his triggers. I stated that the first step is recognizing the cause of the triggers. Until the traumatized adopted child knows why something triggers a response, he is only going to be treating the symptoms rather than healing the cause.

I have some triggers that I have not been able to dismantle just by recovering the memories of what happened.

Trauma Tuesday: Can a Traumatized Adopted Child’s Triggers be Dismantled?

Submitted by FaithA on Tue, 05/27/2008 - 08:15

Snake (c) Lynda BernhardtIn my blog entry entitled Trauma Tuesday: Traumatized Adopted Child and Triggers, Snafu Suz asked the following question:

So I have a question for you about triggers - is avoiding the triggers the only way to deal with those feelings? Or is there any way of desensitizing yourself to the triggers? Gardening is something you can just choose not to participate in, but some triggers may not be so easy [to] avoid. – Snafu Suz

A trigger is anything that can cause a traumatized adopted child to have a flashback, whether that be a visual flashback or a flood of emotion related to the trauma.

Trauma Thursday: How to Teach a Traumatized Adopted Child to Live in His Body

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 05/22/2008 - 08:22

Yellow Flower (c) Lynda BernhardtIn my blog entry, Trauma Tuesday: Traumatized Adopted Child and Disconnection From the Body, I said that adoptive parents need to teach their traumatized adopted children how to live in their bodies (versus staying disconnected from their bodies). The obvious question that many of you might be asking is how can you do this? If you have never lived your life disconnected from your body, you might be baffled about how to teach this skill to a traumatized adopted child.

Another way of wording teaching a traumatized adopted child to "live in his own body" is to teach him how to stay present. When a traumatized child is being triggered, he is returning to the past. The opposite of this is staying present, or keeping your awareness in the present moment.

The most important step toward learning to stay present, or live in your body, is to live in a safe environment.

Warped Reality of the Abused Adopted Child

Submitted by FaithA on Tue, 02/19/2008 - 08:17

If you adopt an abused child, you might be surprised by the "normal" things that your child does not know. For example, your adopted child might not know that it is inappropriate to walk around the house naked or that trashcans ever need to be emptied. If you have always lived in a relatively functional family, then you might be shocked by some of your adopted child's behaviors.