It has taken me a few days to get around to responding to this article, partly because I have been fighting a bad case of the flu and its aftereffects and partly because, well, it sounds annoyingly familiar. Over the last three years that I’ve been blogging about intercountry adoption, I’ve heard several adoptees of intercountry adoption speak out against adoption. I respect their right to state their opinion and support the freedom of speech our country legislates, but unfortunately I have to disagree with most of what they claim.

Take for example these statements:

For more than fifty years "orphaned children" have been shipped from areas of war, natural disasters, and poverty to supposedly better lives in Europe and North America. Our adoptions from Vietnam, South Korea, Guatemala and many other countries are no different from what is happening to the children of Haiti today. Like us, these "disaster orphans" will grow into adulthood and begin to grasp the magnitude of the abuse, fraud, negligence, suffering, and deprivation of human rights involved in their displacements.

Here is one group of adoptees who have decided to be the spokespeople for all intercountry adoptees. They see themselves as victims and they warn future adoptees that their future is doomed if they are adopted as well. In their opinion, intercountry adoption is nothing more than abuse, fraud, suffering etc. This is a huge exaggeration.

When ten Americans were rightly arrested for trying to illegally remove children from Haiti, the world became indignant. But there is much more to be indignant about regarding the plight of Haitian children.

An article in “The Atlantic” aptly named “Island of Lost Children” presents us with some chilling numbers:

Even without the pandemonium unleashed by a 7.0 earthquake, an estimated quarter-million Haitian children are trafficked within the country each year. These slaves, known as restavecs are typically sold or given away to new families by their own impoverished parents. Physical and sexual abuse is common for restavecs. Many owners use the girls as in-house prostitutes, sending them to live on the street if they become pregnant.

In a recent comment, John brought up some important questions about birthparent searches:

... is it appropriate for the adoptive parent to do a search if the child hasn't indicated they want a search? Isn't that invading the rights of the child? It is his parent, not the adoptive Mom or Dad's parent. All five of mine came from foster care, a different type of adoption, but all have very strong feelings that searching is their prerogative only. It could be that my kids’ reactions are purely due to their backgrounds. It could also be that by the time the infant adoptees reach teenage and adult years that they too will feel that it is intrusive, and presumptive. Indeed, waiting to search may mean never getting an answer, but isn't the child's sense of his parent respecting him more important?

Let me address John's points one at a time.

Do we  invade the rights of our adopted child when we search for their birthparents without their approval?

I don’t think we are invading the rights of our adopted children when we do this; if anything we are invading their privacy. I believe it is their right to have open birth records and their right to be able to have contact with their birthparents when they so decide and the birthparents are in agreement.

As I’ve shared in a previous blog,  Dr. Jane Aronson ((founder of Worldwide Orphans) was my daughter’s “adoption doc” and I have a special place in my heart for her. She has a huge heart and has spent countless hours observing and helping orphaned children. Her description of life in an orphanage is an important reminder to the world that there is NO REPLACEMENT FOR A LOVING FAMILY.

Dr. Jane in Haiti - Journal Day #5 - At home

Day # 5 - Back Home Home from Haiti, but not done thinking and processing. I flew into Newark airport from O'Hare at 9 am today and my partner, Diana, and my sons, Ben and Des greeted me at the airport....a very nice surprise to see my kids who should have been in Hebrew School at that hour. They were jumping on me and I kissed their heads....I missed them so much. A joy for me to see healthy and happy children who started out in this life not so fortunate. They both were in orphanages and both suffered from institutionalized care, but were resilient and overcame the adversity. This is not the case for a lot of kids raised in orphanages around the world.

I have spent the last 20 years of my career as a pediatrician caring for orphans who arrive in the US adopted by American families, underweight and failing to thrive, infectious diseases and with developmental delays especially language delays. Some children have sensory issues that make it painful to be touched and loved which is what they need the most. And other children have attachment issues which can take years to resolve and may require herculean efforts by family and therapists.