Michael and his husband reside in California with their two adopted sons. Michael dedicates time to writing a family blog and occasionally contributes pertinent information on adoption issues on several websites and groups.

Not too long ago, I shared only part of our first adoption experience in my blog “The Not So Pleasant Side of Adoption - Being Scammed”. The actual events that led to our first placement, and the events that followed, go well beyond the one scammer. If you remember, the scammer was the first “expectant” mom we met. Though we tried to remain unbiased during both adoptions, we could not shake the feelings that we associated with that experience. Fortunately, for us, our determination to continue building our family through adoption was strong.

During our first son’s adoption finalization process, we discussed pursuing a second adoption with our agency. Once his adoption became final, we began the paperwork. The benefit of having adopted once before – assuming that you use the same agency, and not much has changed – is that you only have to “update” your information to what is current. For instance, instead of the required four state-mandated homestudy visits, the social worker only visited twice to “update” our homestudy to include what life was like with our son. The questions posed on the paperwork asked us to describe what was different or new and asked how we would handle two children. Within three months, we were ready to match.

 Michael and his husband reside in California with their 18-month old adopted son. They hope to adopt another child soon. Michael contributes pertinent information on adoption issues on several websites and groups.

Julia asked me to write a blog addressing an all-to-familiar stereotype that children of gay and lesbian parents grow up to be gay or lesbian. When I look at my myriad of friends, specifically those who are gay or lesbian, and there have been many in my 40 years, I have never met any who were raised by gay or lesbian parents. I am not suggesting that they do not exist; they just do not exist in my world. On the other hand, I have met a few heterosexual friends who had one or two gay and/or lesbian parents. Yet, when I look at all of the gay and lesbian people I have met, I see one stark contrast to the stereotype. Heterosexual parents raised them all. Rhetorically, I asked myself, if this is the case, why does this stereotype exist? After all, the American Psychological Association’s website lists the medical professional associations that have “come out” in support of gay and lesbian parenting.

Michael and his husband reside in California with their 18-month old adopted son. They hope to adopt another child soon. Michael contributes pertinent information on adoption issues on several websites and groups.

When our friends offer parenting tips or advice I try to be gracious. I usually respond with questions to clarify the details, and then respond with “How did that work?” or just nod and say “Oh, okay.” However, when a family member offers advice, the situation can turn tense quickly. I am sure you have heard one form or another of “I raised two kids and…” “Well, my kids are fine…” from family members who purported themselves to be parenting experts. Frankly, no one is a parenting expert; we all make mistakes. Let’s face it; children do not come with operation manuals, which I might add is a good thing. When it comes to parenting, not all kids are the same despite what our parents might think. What might be good for one child, could spell catastrophe for another.