A reader would like to talk about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and an obsession with safety. Being obsessed with safety is a common aftereffect of PTSD. The term used for this obsession with safety is hypervigilance.

Most police officers and soldiers are hypervigilant because they know what it is like to be unsafe and will instantly react to keep themselves safe. You might be able to sneak up on a friend without any hypervigilance issues and get her to scream before laughing about startling her. However, you don’t want to sneak up on a police officer or soldier like that or you might find a knife at your throat!

The same reasons that a police officer or soldier are hypervigilant apply to foster or adopted children with PTSD. Just like a police officer or soldier, the child knows what it is like to be hurt, so she is on guard for being hurt again. She is constantly scanning her surroundings, just like the police officer and soldier, for signs of danger. Her reactions are going to be quick because she is always in “sentry mode,” prepared to take action to protect herself, if needed.

A reader would like to talk about parenting for the emotional age of the adopted child. I live this every day, so I feel well-qualified to talk about this topic. I am posting this blog entry under Trauma Tuesday because many abused foster and adopted children have emotional ages that are different from their chronological ages due to the trauma that they suffered. However, a child can have emotional delays even without experiencing trauma. (My adopted child is an example of this.)

First, let me explain what I mean by “emotional age.” My son is 9-1/2 years old, but he still likes to watch TV shows intended for preschool children. He knows that his friends prefer to watch shows for older kids (and my son likes those shows, too), so he does not share this interest publicly. If a typical 9-year-old child watched one of these shows, he would complain about it being “boring” and “stupid.” However, my son will giggle and take pride in knowing the answers to the questions being asked. It seems to build his confidence that he knows all of the answers.

My son has across-the-board learning disabilities, which accounts for the lower emotional age. However, traumatized children also frequently have a lower emotional age. The reason for this is unmet needs, which I have blogged about a few times:

A reader wants to know about “cold chills” experienced by abused children and adult survivors of child abuse. The reader says that, when she talks about sensitive topics, she gets a “cold chill” over her entire body as if she was “frozen” inside.

I spent most of my life feeling cold and “frozen inside,” so I know exactly what she is talking about. In fact, I could feel myself “thaw” inside as I went through therapy and healed from the child abuse. The coolest thing was that my Reiki master could “feel” it, too. I started seeing a Reiki master when I had been in therapy for about a year. When she did Reiki, I could feel the energy flow in my head through my shoulders to around my chest. However, I could feel no energy whatsoever in the rest of my body.

I said nothing to the Reiki master, but she brought the topic up herself. She said that it felt like I had wood in my legs because no energy was getting through. I corrected her and said, “No, it is ice.”

Yesterday, I wrote a scathing blog entry on my personal blog about this article, which listed dissociative identity disorder (DID) as the #7 most controversial psychiatric disorder. Despite the “controversy” surrounding a DID diagnosis, DID will be included in the updated version of the fifth edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which is scheduled for publication in May 2013.

DID has been included in the DSM for a very long time (originally under the label of “multiple personality disorder”) and will continue to be included in the fifth edition, so I don’t understand why this diagnosis continues to be viewed by many as “controversial.” Perhaps the controversy sells ad space for television talk shows??

If you are parenting a foster or adopted child with a diagnosis of DID, you need to know that DID is a real disorder and not doubt your child’s experience. DID is caused by severe and ongoing trauma beginning before the age of six. Children over age six and adults who endure ongoing and severe trauma (including prisoners of war) do not develop this disorder.