reactive attachment disorder
Trauma Thursday: Understand RAD From an Adult Perspective

My mother started sexually abusing me when I was just a toddler, so I fit the profile of a child who could have developed reactive attachment disorder (RAD). I have always known that I have issues with trust and attachment, but I did not act out in the way that children with RAD do. I was an obedient, straight-A student who never gave anyone any trouble.
And yet, as a kid, I used to feel hostility toward my father (the “good” parent). If I accidently hurt him, I would get some level of “pleasure” out of it that I never showed.
My father bought me a gun when I was ten years old, and we would do father-daughter bonding as he taught me how to shoot it. I would sometimes get fantasies about shooting him with that gun. These urges would disturb me, and I would never actually do them, but there was no denying that I would sometimes feel a strong desire to harm him. In retrospect, I think this was all part of my attachment issues as a kid. I just chose not to act on them.
Now, as an adult, I am experiencing flashes of hostility toward a friend, and I have been perplexed by this. It finally hit me that this might all be part of my attachment issues that I need to push through.
How To Tuesday: How to tell if Your Child is an Abandoholic
Does your child seem to be attracted to drama and turmoil? Is he or she constantly rejecting the safe and stable people in their lives in favor for those that only bring heartache, confusion and ultimately rejection? Does it seem like the closer you try to get, the harder your child pushes away? Then you may very well be living with an abandoholic.
Haven’t heard of the term abandoholic? Don’t fret my friends, as it is a term that I myself have only recently stumbled across. As you may have guessed an abandoholic is someone who has become addicted to the rush of emotions that accompany being abandoned.
When someone has been hurt deeply, or repeatedly over a long period of time, a change begins to take place on the inside, and instead of feeling loving feelings towards those that keep you safe, secure, and cared for, the person begins to equate love with insecurity, and fear. The drama and the rush of emotions that come along with someone who is unstable or emotionally unavailable become desired feelings, as they are now viewed as ‘safe.’
Trauma Thursday: Signs of Trauma in the Classroom

I am an active volunteer in my son’s school. One of my favorite ways to volunteer is to be a reading tutor with the kindergarten students. I love to watch the children’s joy as the world of reading opens before their eyes. I also love to nurture the little ones.
This is my fourth year as a reading tutor. The children just love me. I tutor at a Montessori school that has pre-K and Kindergarten children together in one class. I only read with the kindergarteners unless a pre-K student is reading on a Kindergarten level. The pre-K students spend all year getting excited about being a “big kid” and getting to read with me the following year.
So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a very different reaction from a new Kindergarten student.
- FaithA's blog
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RAD DAD AND THINGS GONE BAD – UNSAFETY

Today's guest blog is from John, a retired commercial airline pilot who has adopted four boys from domestic foster care as a single parent. John and his family live in southern California.
No, I don’t mean RAD as in Radical (Yes, I know that is dated.) I am referring to Reactive Attachment Disorder. My youngest son, Chad, age 18, has RAD. We have attached, that is a true miracle, but the disorder is not something easily disposed of. I suspect some degree of it lasts for a lifetime. He is very attached to me, fairly attached to his 20-year-old brother, and to one friend. That is the limit of real attachment. Like all RAD kids, he came home with very pronounced hyper-vigilance; he always had to be on guard for his safety. Because he was the only person he could trust. Although this has noticeably abated, it can be triggered. This is about an event that was very difficult for him to handle.
We were on vacation in Germany. We have been there a number of times before, this time we were in Berlin, an interesting city with neat people, and Starbucks on almost every corner. Everything was going very well until Friday night when Chad developed a severe pain in his stomach. It got worse as time passed. By 9 PM, I asked the hotel to call their Doctor. He was alarmed, the pain was intense, and he wondered if there could be a perforation. We got to ride to the hospital in the ambulance. Surprise, only one Nurse spoke any English, very unlike the Berlin we had seen. After blood tests, and X-rays, the Doc had to try and tell me what was happening. Chad could tell we were having language problems (It turns out the doc was a former East German and spoke German and Russian.) so he was understandably frightened. We got it sorted out, it was something he ate, no surgery needed. The painkillers were working and we took a cab back to the hotel. He was upset, as in very very upset.
Adopted RAD Child? Hide the Toilet Paper
Do you have an adopted or foster RAD child in your home? Have you been going through tons of toilet paper ever since the child arrived? At first, you may have thought that the child was just using too much toilet paper with each wipe. Perhaps you had one of those fun and personal chats about how many squares a person should use at each sitting. “Pat, honey, I appreciate that you are doing such a thorough job of wiping your bottom, but you are using too much toilet paper. Could you cut back to using six squares for wiping? If you need to repeat, use six squares again.” After a while, it probably occurred to you that when a child uses way too much toilet paper to wipe, the toilet usually gets plugged. Your toilet hasn’t been plugged up, nor is the bathroom trash can full of toilet paper. It might make you wonder where your newly adopted RAD child could hide or use the toilet paper.
- FosterMommy's blog
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A Foster Child Becomes Your Child
Today's guest blog is from John, a former commercial airline pilot who has adopted four boys from domestic foster care as a single parent. John and his family live in southern California.
This is not a promo to get everyone to go out and adopt a foster child. It is the journey I have been through with my four sons who came from foster care, we are adopted. Each one came home individually, and typically was about age 12 at the start of the adoption. There is a belief in child psychology that if you cannot make an impact with a child before age three, don't bother, everything is set in stone. Hogwash. Older kids can change, just like adults can change.
Adoptive Parents Indicted for Restraining Adopted Child to Prevent Self-Injury
Adoptive parents Kathy and Steve Rhoten have been indicted on two counts each of criminal restraint for tying their teenage daughter to the adoptive father's belt and then to the sofa to prevent her from self-injuring. The daughter had been hiding knives, pins, and other sharp objects for cutting herself. The child has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) but was not diagnosed until after she began cutting herself.
This story is tragic on so many levels. Where do I even begin?




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