Home

Adoption Under One Roof

Covering adoption from every angle, every view, for everyone

Main Menu

  • Home
  • How To Adopt
    • Getting Started With Adoption
    • Adoption Types, Costs, Timeline
    • Hague Intercountry Adoption Treaty
    • Definition of Adoption Terms
  • Resources
    • Foster Care
      • Contests
    • After Adoption
      • Searching for a Birthmother
    • Adoption Statistics
  • Blogs
    • Guest Blogger
      • Dee Thompson
      • Janine
      • Jeanette Schnell
      • John
        • Older Child Adoption
        • humpty series-older child adoption
      • Linda Lach
      • Linny
      • Marjorie Shaw
        • A Legitimate Life: A Forbidden Journey of Self Discovery
      • Michael
      • Patricia Dischler
      • Scrapsbynobody
      • Shelia Davis
      • Susan Metters
    • Adoption Maharishi
    • Amy Adoptee
    • AngelaW
    • Ask An Adoptee
    • FaithA
      • Baby Names
      • Trauma Thursday
      • Trauma Tuesday
    • Foster Mommy
      • Educational Testing and Assessments
      • Friday Activities
    • Julia Fuller
      • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Diaries
      • Parenting Mistakes Saturday
    • JulieC
      • Friday Funnies
      • How To Tuesday
        • How To Tuesday
      • Hump Day Hippie
      • JulieC's Sites to See
    • LisaS
      • Chanuka is not Christmas with a twist, teaching your adopted child's friends about Chanukah,
      • Corrupt and Questionable Adoption Agencies
      • Making the World a Better Place
      • Running With Scissors
    • Sandra Hanks Benoiton
  • Polls
  • About Us
    • Blog and Comment Posting Policy
    • Contact Us

.

dream catcher weighted blanket

bellomonili fine jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 Read the Traumatized Child Blog & Use AUOR for 10% Discount at Dream Catcher

 

Home

Resources

Guest Blog: Keep Believing Your Child Will Find You

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Tue, 03/09/2010 - 23:08
  • Adoption Process
  • April
  • Foster adoption
  • Gay families
  • Guest Blog
  • Guestblogger
  • HIPPA Laws Preventing Adoptive Placement
  • Infant adoption
  • Resources
  • Same-sex Couple Adoption
  • Special needs

Shaken Baby with G-tube

As many of my adoption friends and family know, my partner and I started on the adoption journey a little over 2 years ago. We have been scammed out of money and emotionally scammed by parents looking to "give up" their unborn child. This is the story of our adoptions and a story of fate. I read April and Jayne’s amazing adoption story on a yahoo group that I belong to and begged them to share it with Ouradopt readers. Their story helps us to remember that when the time and the child are right, our adoption will happen. It can be difficult to keep that perspective when you are the one waiting to be chosen.

Last January, after the loss of our first child place with us (her mom changed her mind and took her home and the child passed away of SIDS), Jayne and I decided that we would become foster parents and foster to adopt. A private adoption would require money that we no longer had due to our failed adoptions. We knew that fostering would take it's toll on us emotionally but we were ready for it. We began our long and frustrating road down getting our license.

It was also last January that we received a phone call that changed our lives. A co-worker called about a baby boy being put up for adoption by a family member. Nolan was born three weeks later. We love our son he is the light in our lives but we knew we had more love to give so we continued on our foster licensing quest. .

  • GuestBlogger's blog
  • 2 comments
  • Read more

Good and Bad Facilitators and Referral Services

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 20:15
  • Adoption basics
  • facilitators
  • Guest Blog
  • Guestblogger
  • Heaven Sent Adoption Services
  • Referral Services
  • Resources
  • Shelia Davis
  • US adoption laws

align="right"

Shelia Davis and her wonderful husband are the adoptive parents of three children through domestic private infant adoption. Their youngest child was diagnosed with autism when he began missing milestones. They have had to learn many new parenting techniques to help their son. Shelia is the founder of Heaven Sent Adoption Services, Inc. She strives to help women with unplanned pregnancies make informed decisions about parenting or placing their babies. She encourages all of her potential adoptive parents to research and engage in open loving adoptions. She notes that, “Adoption is very personal to me as I am the sister of two brothers through adoption, the mother of three children through adoption, a friend to three birth parents through adoption, a child of God through adoption and a director of a licensed adoption agency.”

In response to a heated discussion that included this question: "Is a referral service basically a consultant, sort of like a wedding planner? My understanding is that facilitators are illegal in some states, like Florida. "

Shelia writes the following: First off - it is just a "title" as to what they call themselves and I don't think the words matter at all....it's the way they work, their ethics, the money they charge and who oversees their practice's that are more important.

There are both good and bad Facilitators and Referral Services -

1. They are both small businesses having ONLY a business licenses and not overseen by the courts or the government like a child placing agency or attorney is.

2. They can charge whatever they like because they are not accountable to a court system for their revenues like an agency or attorney is.

3. They are not required to have trained social workers or counselors to provide services to you or the Expectant mothers.

  • GuestBlogger's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Dear Adoption Maharishi: How Can an Adoptee Get the Courts to Produce Birth Information?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 16:01
  • Adoptee rights
  • Birthparent search
  • Closed adoption
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Opening Adoption Records
  • Resources
  • Search and reunion

 

 

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

After many years of mental torment and agony of dealing with the person I call my mother I decided to attempt to find my roots. Here's the problem in the area of the birth certificate that usually has the doctors name and signature etc. Is has my adopted mothers name. The document appears to be fraudulent but I am told it is not. The other thing that is strange is my adoption was finalized early 1985 but my amended birth certificate was issued just six weeks after I was born. The home study was not performed until after my adoptive parents were chosen to receive me. To really top things off my adoptive parents had only been married for 8 months when they received me. Because of Texas laws my parents were allowed to finalize the adoption in a different county, rather than the one of my birth and of residence. Every time I go to the courthouse my adoption was "finalized in" they cannot tell me anything. Not even if it was indeed the courthouse. I'm at a dead end and I feel as if I am being cheated out of my history. I also would love to know my medical background. The funny part is my adoptive parents know that my birth mother had to have a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. If anybody has any advice on how to find my birth parents it would be much appreciated even my search agent I hired is pretty much stumped, if we can not get the courts to produce any information I'm screwed. Signed, jmontgomery0627

Dear jmontgomery0627,

We truly understand and sympathize with your grief. One of our partners has a husband in the same boat. He was born in 1964 so the same era. In Michigan, you can pay the court a fee to locate your birthparents. A person at the court locates the birthparents and discusses the possibility of a meeting. Ultimately, it is up to the birthparents. In our case, the birthmother refused to meet. Thus he experienced another humiliating let down. Michigan also has a registry where adoptees, and relatives who know about the child placed, can put their names on a list to be contacted if the other party also puts their name on the list. Unfortunately, I don’t think these lists are very well operated. I bring this up because, Texas may have similar possibilities. Please ask your courthouse if they offer an adoption liaison service, where they anonymously contact the birthparents to request information. They can pull your records to do this. Ironically, we also adopted an infant from Texas.

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Guest Blog: Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall, 3:45 AM - Good Bye Son

Submitted by GuestBlogger on Fri, 01/22/2010 - 21:09
  • Guest Blog
  • Guestblogger
  • Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall
  • John
  • Older child adoption
  • Older Parents
  • Out of control adopted children
  • residential treatment center
  • Resources
  • RTC
  • Single parents
  • Traumatized children
  • Tweens

Another honest, real life, older child adoption guest blog from John. He is a retired commercial airline pilot who has adopted five boys, over three decades, from domestic foster care as a single parent. John and his family live in southern California.

Tyler’s behavior was deteriorating by the day. Physical, out of control emotionally, disconnected. I told Tyler about the plan for him to go to a therapeutic board and care, wow, not OK. In the Psychiatrist’s office, I told him that we would be going to the school on the following Thursday. Eruption, “I will not go and you can’t make me”. Very loud, I realized that my plan to take him to the school (850 miles away) was not going to work. The director of the school suggested having him escorted. These firms do just that, take kids from home to the facility that they need to get to, safely. I talked to the head of the firm, he was very professional, very knowledgeable, very understanding, and with extensive experience working at RTCs. Not cheap, $4,000, out of my pocket. No choice really, and we set it up for the following Monday.

  • GuestBlogger's blog
  • 3 comments
  • Read more

Dear Adoption Maharishi: What Are Some Effective Strategies to Help School Age Encopresis?

Submitted by Adoption_Maharishi on Thu, 01/21/2010 - 01:24
  • Bowel Movement
  • Children's Issues
  • DAM
  • Dear Adoption Maharishi
  • Encopresis
  • Encopresis Resulting from Early Sexual Abuse
  • FAS
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Incontinence
  • Older child adoption
  • Poop Painting
  • Pooping Pants
  • Potty Training Issue vs. Behavior Problem
  • RAD
  • Resources
  • Soiled Undergarments
  • Soiling
  • Special needs
  • Stool
  • Traumatized children

 

 

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

 

We have a student who has encopresis and RAD. What are some effective strategies we can use to help this 10 year old boy reduce these incidents?

 

Signed,

Evansb

 

Dear Evansb,

Congratulations on your steadfast commitment to this 10-year-old child with severe emotional issues. Many caretakers are unable to deal with an older child struggling with encopresis over the long-term. Because of the odor, shock, disgust, and continuously replacing soiled clothing that either will not come clean or refuse to give up their odor. Some children with encopresis issues also paint feces on the wall, rub their poop into carpets, and refuse to clean themselves appropriately afterward soiling undergarments. These children may also place soiled garments into the laundry hamper without rinsing them or disposing of the bowel movement creating a bigger mess by soiling the entire load of laundry. Continuing this behavior problem, especially at school will result in lost, or non-existent friendships, name calling, low self-esteem, shame, guilt, and lost learning time.

  • Adoption_Maharishi's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Hump Day Hippie: Recycle Gold Jewelry

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Wed, 12/09/2009 - 01:08
  • Gold Jewelry
  • hump day hippie
  • quick cash
  • Recycling
  • recycling old gold
  • recycling with children
  • Resources

Do you need some quick cash for holiday shopping? Why not look through your jewelry box and pull out those broken gold chains, rings missing stones, and out of fashion earrings. If your children are like mine, they love going through your jewelry box. If your gold jewelry is already missing stones or broken the kids probably won’t make the damage any worse. Have fun letting them try you jewelry on, and then take the pieces you can’t use anymore to a jeweler, pawnshop, or “sell your gold” party. Not only will you get quick cash, you will actually be recycling gold jewelry.

  • JuliaFuller's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Intensive Early Therapy May Improve Abilities of Autistic Children

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Fri, 12/04/2009 - 23:02
  • developing friendships with their peers
  • for autism spectrum disorders
  • Intensive early intervention Autism
  • Language Issues
  • PDD
  • pervasive developmental disorders
  • Resources
  • Special needs
  • Traumatized children

Intensive early intervention, before children reach the age of five, may boost IQ, language, and social skills. A new study designed specifically for toddlers with autism was so successful, that by the end of the program, these children were attending regular preschool, and had developed friendships with their peers.

The children included in the study were between 18 months and 30 months. However, the study, called the Early Start Denver Model, was designed for autistic children between the ages of one and five.

  • JuliaFuller's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan's Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism

Submitted by FosterMommy on Tue, 12/01/2009 - 21:46
  • Adoptee rights
  • adoption reunion
  • Books about Adoption
  • Books about adoption Reunion
  • Half Orphan
  • Joan M Wheeler
  • Resources
  • Search and reunion
  • Social Activism

 A Half Orphan's Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism

 

Announcing....

Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan's Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism

by Joan M Wheeler

Available online at Trafford Publishing Bookstore: 

 The Book is available on Amazon dot com

 

  • FosterMommy's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

When You Finally Give Up, Along Comes Baby or Babies

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 23:52
  • Adoptive placements after giving up hope
  • chosen by birthmother to adopt
  • Crisis pregnancy
  • Foster care
  • Philanthropy
  • pregnancy after adoption
  • Resources
  • waiting to adopt

Faith wrote a blog about Adoption Myth: If you Adopt, You will Get Pregnant. She received this advice from several well-wishers when she and her hubby made their decision to adopt. Of course, it did not really happen, but people love to perpetuate the myth. Following that same train of thought, I must wonder, once you give up on ever finding a mother to choose your family to adopt her newborn, are you chosen? I wonder if anyone else has witnessed this phenomenon because this is what has happened to our family, twice in the last seven months.

  • JuliaFuller's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more

Notify Your Adoption Agency of New Addresses

Submitted by JuliaFuller on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 01:46
  • Birth Family
  • Change of Address with Adoption Agency
  • Closed adoption
  • forwarding postal first class mail
  • Infant adoption
  • International adoption
  • Resources
  • Search and reunion

Your family is going to move to a new home. It happens all the time. People accept job transfers. Your family has outgrown the current house. The neighborhood is no longer child friendly. It does not really matter the reason for the move. But have you notified your adoption agency of your new address?

  • JuliaFuller's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • …
  • next ›
  • last »

User login

  • Create new account
  • Request new password

Popular content

Today's:

  • Guest Blog: Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall - I’m Outta Here
  • Trauma Thursday: Abuse Memories and Feeling Cold
  • Guest Blog: Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall, 3:45 AM - Good Bye Son

All time:

  • International Adoption Statistics for 2007
  • Trauma Tuesday: Orgasms During Rape and Sexual Abuse
  • International Adoption Statistics for 2008

Last viewed:

  • Failure and Blame
  • Trauma Thursday: What Flashbacks Feel Like
  • What are the Chances of a Newborn Baby Being Adopted?

Recent comments

  • No, they aren't
    1 day 14 hours ago
  • I don't agree that 19 year
    1 day 14 hours ago
  • This justifies that the
    2 days 8 hours ago
  • Need less Labats
    2 days 11 hours ago
  • BSWA
    2 days 16 hours ago
  • One may think that Whites
    2 days 18 hours ago
  • I could. It wasn't the
    5 days 12 hours ago
  • Thanks country24 for that
    6 days 2 hours ago
  • schools for kids
    6 days 11 hours ago
  • Call me Grandma in public
    6 days 12 hours ago
Site Map
© 2010 Adoption Under One Roof LLC. All Rights Reserved. email: info at ouradopt.com
Opinions expressed in posts and blogs belong to the person who is expressing them. So then it follows that these opinions are not those of Adoption Under One Roof.
RoopleTheme