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Adopted Child: “You’re Not My Real Mom, Anyhow”

Loner (c) Lynda BernhardtSorry about dropping off the face of the earth last week. I came down with the H1N1 virus last week – not fun! I ran a fever for two days and stayed very dizzy for five days. I am so thankful to cross that “joy” off of my list of things to do. On to a much more interesting (and less nauseating) topic … adoption!

On 90210 last week, adopted child Dixon (played by Tristan Wilds) said those dreaded words to his adoptive mother, Debbie (played by Lori Loughlin): “You’re not my real mother, anyhow.”

Let me back up. Dixon’s girlfriend claimed to be pregnant as a way to keep Dixon from breaking up with her. Debbie figured it out, called the girlfriend on her scam, and told her to stay away from her son. The girlfriend claimed that she had a miscarriage. Dixon beat himself up over how he handled the “pregnancy,” so Debbie finally came clean with the truth. Dixon was very angry with Debbie for keeping this information from him. Dixon’s adoptive father, Harry (played by Rob Estes) tried to intervene, but Dixon responded that Debbie isn’t his “real mother” anyhow.”

Oh how I dread the day that those words are thrown at me by an angry teenager. It is one thing for an eight-year-old child to lash out in anger with those words because a little kid does not really get the damage that those words can inflict. A seventeen-year-old adopted child knows d@#$ well the damage that those words can cause, but he chose to do it, anyhow.

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Possible Surprising and Disturbing Outcomes of Adoption Search and Reunion

Spider (c) Lynda BernhardtWhen adoptees or birth parents decide to search for their birth family, they know that the outcome might not be a storybook ending. However, many people who begin the process of searching do not take into account less conventional and disturbing possible outcomes of their search. Before deciding to search, be sure to prepare yourself for other, less common, disturbing outcomes.

The television show 90210 explored one of these possible disturbing outcomes in last week’s episode – the scam. After Sean (played by Josh Henderson) ingratiated himself into the family as the birth son of Harry (played by Rob Estes), other family members became suspicious when Sean revealed that he needed $200,000 to pay off his adoptive father’s gambling debts. To appease his family, Harry asked Sean to undergo a paternity test just as a formality. Of course, Sean was gone the next morning.

In this case, the private investigator was the one working with the con man to bilk more money out of his client. However, scam artists can come in all shapes and sizes.

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90210: Episode where Adoption Reunion Happens

Large plant (c) Lynda BernhardtI had been looking forward to watching the latest episode of 90210 all week. (Yes, I am well aware that I need a life!) With last week’s episode ending with the birth son of Harry (played by Rob Estes), 25-year-old Sean (played by Josh Henderson), making his introduction to his two half-sisters, I knew there would be lots to blog about this week. So, you can imagine my frustration when the cable channel fritzed out after the first scene. AARRGGHH!!

Since then, I have been impatiently waiting for the CW to post the full episode online. No-go. I finally found it elsewhere, so we can get down to business.

My first reaction was, “Why in the world would a birth son come unannounced to his birth father’s house at night and walk up to the front door when there is clearly a huge party going on?” It seems to me like something as personal as an adoption search and reunion should happen in a much more private setting.

I also find it weird that he went to his birth father’s house instead of his birth mother’s house.

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Labels in Adoption Search and Reunion

Chucks sign (c) Lynda BernhardtAs the television show 90210 promised, the birth son of Harry Wilson (played by Rob Estes) and Tracy Clark (played by Christina Moore) made his appearance last night, looking suspiciously like the guy who deflowered Julie Mayer and impregnated Danielle Van De Kamp on Desperate Housewives. (The birth son, Sean, is played by Josh Henderson, who also played Edie’s nephew, Austin McCann, on Desperate Housewives.) The birth son only had two lines, but those two lines were enough to spark an interesting topic.

Sean unknowingly walked up to his two half-siblings and stated that he was “Harry Wilson’s and Tracy Clark’s son.” I was a little taken aback by this (and sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see everyone’s reaction next week!). I found it odd that he referred to himself as their “son.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe that anyone involved in an adoption search and reunion has the right to label himself in any way he wants.

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90210: Adoption Search & Reunion Effects on Birth Siblings

Mother and child (c) Lynda BernhardtAs I shared in my blog entry 90210 Adoption Search and Reunion Storyline for November Sweeps, 90210 is diving into an adoption search and reunion storyline. This week’s episode was the first installment. This episode gave me a lot to think about regarding the dynamics of adoption search and reunion.

When I think about adoption search and reunion, I generally think about how it feels for the birth mother and the adoptee to meet again. I have also thought a little bit about how an adoption search and reunion might affect the adoptive family. However, I have not given much thought to the ramifications for birth siblings. That was focus of this week’s episode of 90210.